Movie Review Sunday

The Iron Giant – 1999 (PG)

Netflix says: In rustic 1957 Maine, 9-year-old Hogarth finds a colossal but disoriented robot (of unknown origin), and the two form a strong bond of friendship. Before long, however, a government agent is on their trail -- and he's intent on destroying the automaton. This beautifully rendered parable based on British poet Ted Hughes' feted short story features the voices of Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel, Harry Connick Jr. and Cloris Leachman.

Matt says: “The Iron Giant” is a charming movie that is beautifully made and has strong moral messages. At its surface, it’s a film about a boy and his unlikely friendship with a giant robot. After a government agent starts snooping around, they meet a beatnik artist, and they witness hunters kill a deer (that the pair only moments before interacted with), the strong anti-violence message makes itself more than obvious. “You can chose to not be a weapon,” the boy reminds the giant as it unleashes a hell of fury on the military… after the boy earlier taught it the meaning of death in the face of the dead deer. They’re powerful messages that will spark conversation with your children, so be prepared before going into this. Much like the Studio Ghibli films of Japan, this is a film that doesn’t speak down to children… it faces them at their level and stimulates their little minds. Also like Ghibli, the animation is fluid and colorful and the voice work is above average (with a surprise performance from Vin Diesel as “The Giant”). I recommend this to parents, but only when the children, and the parents, are ready for a good sit down chat. 4 1/2 stars.

The Mole People – 1956 (NR)

Netflix says: A team of archeologists on a quest to find a lost race instead discover a horrific tribe of people living underground who have brutally enslaved the creepy half-human mole people.

Matt says: This was originally an “Art of Cult” suggestion, but I never noted who suggested it (sorry!). Whomever you are, please drop me a line and let me know and I’ll give you credit.

This movie has all the 50s Sci-Fi/Horror trappings: an expedition to an unknown land, heroes in a leather jackets, outrageous outfits, rubber monsters, and evil baddies. It opens with an epic speech worthy of being sampled by many techno DJs. After that, it gets a bit boring, with the whole lead-in to the expedition, the climbing of mountains, and the looking at artifacts. At the 30 minute mark (nearly half the movie), it starts getting all creepy. But, even though they play up the creepiness, the result ends up being more bad Science Fiction than Horror. In fact, it really could’ve been a low rent Star Trek: The Original Series episode (if you imagine it as such while watching, it makes it a little better). It’s not a good movie at all, which made it deserve the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. I like cheesy stuff like this, so I’m not going to destroy it… but I can’t really recommend it but to 1 or 2 select people. 2 stars.

John Carter (aka John Carter of Mars) – 2012 (PG-13)

Netflix says: One minute, dozing Civil War veteran John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is evading Apaches in a deserted cave. The next, he's waking up on Mars, a once-Earthlike planet that's devolved into chaos -- and civil war of a different sort. Based on Edgar Rice Burroughs's classic "Barsoom Series," this sci-fi adventure finds Carter coming to the aid of Martian princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) and pitching in to help protect the planet.

Matt says: Edgar Rice Burroughs is more famous for his “Tarzan” books than his “John Carter” stories. In fact, I hadn’t heard of John Carter before this movie was released. I also was a little apprehensive about seeing it as it got horrible reviews. Yet, classic Science Fiction/Adventure has a special place in my heart and I was compelled. Boy was I pleasantly surprised! “John Carter” is a better than decent movie that got an unnecessary bad rap by reviewers. As a matter of fact, it parallels one of my favorite movies of all time, “Flash Gordon”. Both have an Earthling torn from the planet and taken to a foreign world, both have that character team up with odd aliens to take on an evil leader, and both have a tough, yet sexy female lead. There are more similarities than those, but it’s easier to focus on what keeps “John Carter” from being as excellent as “Gordon”. First is the lack of a decent musical soundtrack (you just can’t beat Queen’s soundtrack in “Flash Gordon”). Second, is that it’s lacking the tongue-in-cheek humor of “Gordon”. It was much more violent than I expected, too. At one point, Carter is literally chest deep of the corpses of aliens he killed. There’s also a scene where he busts through an animal’s back covered head-to-toe in its blood and another scene where he beheads a baddie. Since all the aliens’ blood is blue, “Carter” got to retain a PG-13 rating (just as Tarantino was able to retain an R rating by turning the big ending battle in “Kill Bill: Volume 1” black and white). I think maybe because it’s a Disney movie, people were expecting something lighter… I am glad the makers had the balls to not water it down to keep an image. 4 stars.

Real Steel – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In a future world where flesh-and-blood boxers have been replaced by towering mechanized fighters, pugilist-turned-promoter Charlie Kenton reconnects with his estranged son, Max, to convert a discarded machine into a World Robot Boxing contender.

Matt says: “Real Steel” is one of those movies that isn’t as bad as it looks. The trailer makes it appear to be a “Rock‘em Sock’em Robot” rip-off that’s just out to sell toys and whatever goods are being peddled by the corporate advertisers. Essentially it is. However, thankfully a decent (though generic) script, excellent special effects, and above average acting helps bind it all together into a fun family sports/Sci-Fi film. You will find yourself following as planned: cheering when they want you to cheer, laughing when they want you to laugh, and getting choked up when they want you to get choked up. It’s a paint-by-numbers experience, but much like an amusement park ride, that’s what it’s engineered to be. Also like that ride, it usually is a fun time. Don’t expect anything deeper than the wading pool, but even in knee high water there’s a lot of splashing to be done. 3 1/2 stars.

Back to the Future Part III – 1990 (PG)

Netflix says: The final installment of the Back to the Future trilogy finds Marty (Michael J. Fox) digging the trusty DeLorean out of a mineshaft and looking up Doc (Christopher Lloyd) in the Wild West of 1885. But when their time machine breaks down, the travelers are stranded in a land of spurs. More problems arise when Doc falls for pretty schoolteacher Clara Clayton (Mary Steenburgen), and Marty tangles with Buford Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson).

Matt says: The weakest film in the trilogy should only be watched for closure on the series. Part II ends on a cliff-hanger and, since this was filmed roughly around the same time, Part III is necessary to wrap things up. Throughout the film Doc keeps mentioning what a huge mistake it was to make the time machine and how, when it’s all said and done, it will be destroyed. (Spoiler Alert) When it finally is, we find that Doc has made another one and is taking his family around changing history wherever he sees fit. I know the first and second movies pretty much gave suspension of disbelief a vacation, but Part III just throws it all out the window. Anyway, it’s mostly a western with Fox playing the fish out of water routine again, but this time everything feels over done. Not the greatest way to wrap up the trilogy, but still a must for fans of the first two. 3 stars.

Back to the Future Part II – 1989 (PG)

Netflix says: Marty (Michael J. Fox) and Doc (Christopher Lloyd) are at it again in this wacky sequel to the 1985 blockbuster as the time-traveling duo head to 2015 to nip some McFly family woes in the bud. But things go awry thanks to bully Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) and a pesky sports almanac. In a last-ditch attempt to set things straight, Marty finds himself bound for 1955 and face to face with his teenage parents -- again.

Matt says: Even though it’s vision of the future is completely skewed (really, faxes will be the way to communicate in 2015?), and the time travel is as flawed as the first, this is the best film in the trilogy. I love the alternate time-lines, jumping back to the events of the first film to have a parallel second set of events performed, and that it is a little bit more on the dark side than the other films. You really need to have seen the first film to fully appreciate it, but as sequels go, it’s one of the rare ones that surpass the first film. 4 1/2 stars.

Back to the Future – 1985 (PG)

Netflix says: In this classic sci-fi adventure from director Robert Zemeckis, eccentric inventor Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) turns a DeLorean into a time machine that inadvertently sends his young friend, Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), 30 years into the past. While stuck in the 1950s, Marty disrupts his parents' destiny and risks throwing the time-space continuum completely out of whack. The only way back to 1985 now is to get mom and dad to pucker up.

Matt says: The original “Back to the Future” is a solid, entertaining, adventurous film. The time travel elements are there, but take a back seat to Fox’s “fish out of water” adventures in the 1950s. It’s really difficult to make any sort of time travel movie without a couple of paradoxes, so “Back to the Future” says “screw it” at the end and forces you to accept that, yeah, that’s what happened and the parents still had the same kids and Fox still has the same relationships as before time is skewed and you whipper-snappers better just shut up and believe it! It gets ridiculously tense at the climax, so much so that it become laughable, but I think that’s all part of the fun. Aside from a few curse words, there’s really not much keeping the whole family from enjoying it. It also holds up surprisingly well for being 27 years old. 4 stars.

Green Lantern - 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a brash, talented test pilot, is chosen by an alien force of warriors to become their representative on Earth and use his new powers as the Green Lantern to promote order and justice before conflict destroys his world. Despite being the first human to wear the ring that bestows his abilities, Hal must combat villain Parallax. Fellow pilot Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) aids Hal in his quest to save the galaxy.

Matt says: You know, it’s not as fun as “Iron Man” or “Thor”, or as deep as the Nolan Batman flicks, but “Green Lantern” isn’t as bad as critics made it out to be. In fact, with a little research into the background of the characters, it can be a satisfactory film. I mean, the enemy is a giant, sentient mass of fear that absorbs the fear from people (in effect, killing them painfully and horribly) that keeps growing with each kill. That’s some scary shit right there. I think the mythology is so dense that it lost a little something in transition from page to screen. I’m sure fanboys had as much to like as well as hate about it because of that. Ryan Reynolds got a bad rap too, but I have a feeling a lot of those remarks were from the trailer that made it seem he smugly quips throughout the film as if trying to do his best Robert Downey Jr. impression. Yeah, so there’s a little mugging, but for the most part he plays the hero as well as, say, Christopher Reeve or Chris Hemsworth. I’ll tell you, the movie beats the crap out of that godawful “Superman Returns” and Brandon “The Mannequin” Routh’s dull, lifeless performance. “Green Lantern” is lengthy, can be a bit slow at times, and is missing the humor of the Marvel films of late (why so serious, DC?), but as a solid, stoic superhero movie, it succeeds. I would’ve given it 3 1/2 stars if it wasn’t for the crap DVD rental version. The distributers, more than likely to try and force you to buy the Blu-Ray, released a murky, grainy, non-anamorphic rental version. You know, I don’t mind you forcing trailers or pulling the extras from the disc, Warner Brothers, but at least release a clear print! Where’s your sense of quality for your product? If I bought this DVD and this was the quality it came with, I would send that shit right back. 3 stars.

In Time – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In a near future where aging stops at 25, time is the new currency and the wealthy can live forever. When Will Salas inherits decades of life from a wealthy murdered man, he's pegged as the suspect by the corrupt Time Keepers, who enforce the law.

Matt says: You know, I believe there is an unbalance in the rich and the poor in this country. I think it’s unfair that the rich get tax breaks while the poor get their interest rates raised. I was not for the bailouts, and in fact, I think they did more harm than good. That being said, I don’t need some preachy, low rent sci-fi actioner to reiterate what “99%” already agree on. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what “Occupy Wall Street: The Movie” is all about. In the future, the bankers are rich, taking all the “time” for themselves, while the working class work literally day to day. One bleeding heart banker can’t take it any more and gives his bankroll of 100 years to Justin Bieber. Bieber, in turn, is thumbed as a murderer for having the hours (because who would believe that a rich person would grow a heart and just give their “time” away? Ok… so yeah, that makes sense actually). What comes from it all is a Bonnie-and-Clyde-meet-Robin-Hood-in-the-future story that gets all bogged down by it’s liberal bullshit. Look, I know who made this movie… rich people did. It’s hard to digest an anti-greed/anti-bank agenda when the people preaching make at least 10X a year than you do. The only thing the movie has going for it are the beautiful, young, hard bodies littering the film. Amanda Seyfried and Olivia Wilde are smoking hot as always. Shit, and I even now know why all the girlies go gaga over Bieber. What? Justin Timberlake? Who the hell… “Dick in a box”? Never heard of it. ‘N Synch? Isn’t that just the same shit as Bieber anyway? Oh, who cares? 2 stars.

Battle: Los Angeles – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Led by their skillful staff sergeant (Aaron Eckhart), a platoon of gutsy Marines, including Santos (Michelle Rodriguez), Simmons (Taylor Handley) and Lockett (Cory Hardrict), fight to protect all humankind from astonishingly powerful aliens who've suddenly invaded Los Angeles. Jonathan Liebesman (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) directs this sci-fi film that also stars Lucas Till, Ramon Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan and Michael Peña.

Matt says: You know how, when the later game consoles came out, you could sit down and just watch someone play a first person shooter for around an hour and a half or so? The effects in the game were spectacular and engrossing and it drew you in. Well, too little too late, they made a movie that tried to capture the feeling of watching someone play a first person shooter. The big problems with that are: 1. Video games don’t need to have engrossing stories (though they’re better for it) and character growth. 2. When watching someone play, you can actually participate with puzzles and the such. 3. The shakiness in video games comes from a first person view point and is easy to adjust to. “Battle: Los Angeles” failed at almost every level. The characters were cookie-cutter stereotypes and clichés, the plot was 2 dimensional, and the shaky cam was so bad that I started getting motion sickness (and movies barely even do that to me). In fact, it was all so bad that I ended up losing interest in the film and browsing the internet, with it just playing in the background. When the best thing someone can say about your movie is “the CGI was above average” then you know you made an awful film. The parts I did see get 1 1/2 stars.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: James Franco headlines the reboot of the immensely popular Planet of the Apes franchise, a prequel which boasts cutting-edge CGI effects and a gripping story set in modern-day San Francisco, where scientists are conducting genetic research on apes. The evolved primates, including Caesar (Andy Serkis), develop advanced intelligence and revolt against being used as lab rats, unleashing a war for dominion over Earth.

Matt says: Aside from Franco phoning in his performance, the rest of this was actually pretty good. The series did not need a prequel… Heston summed it up best in the first film: “You did it, you finally did it, damn you all to hell!”. We knew then that the human race caused its own extinction (Look. Fuck you. If you haven’t seen the original in the past 45 years, or seen the spoiler through a parody or something, then you deserve having it ruined now). How it happened and how the apes took over was inconsequential (though, in the sequel to the original it was implied that it was nuclear holocaust. Again, fuck you. The statute of limitations has expired.). However… this is a plausible, if not far fetched, origin story. It falls into a hard sci-fi grey area. One one hand, it’s a summer block buster based on a highly successful franchise with better than average CGI and big names behind it… on the other hand, it follows the hard sci-fi requirements of plausibility, maturity, and science. I don’t want to get into too much, but it will also tug at your emotions. Hell, the CGI protagonist elicits more feelings than any of the real life actors (save Lithgow, who plays his role with aplomb). A surprise hit for me that surpasses many of the mediocre crap of 2011 and does justice to it’s better predecessors. It’s no “2001: A Space Odyssey”, but it’s also not “Apollo 18”. 4 stars.

Apollo 18 – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: If you buy in to official statements, Apollo 17 was NASA's last manned mission to the moon. But what if found footage of a secret Apollo mission that had taken place the following year could prove otherwise -- and explain why we haven't gone back?

Matt says: SPOLIER ALERT! Don’t read this if you actually think you’ll see this crappy movie! Ok, so three words wrap up this whole film: “killer moon rocks”. Yeup. The rest of the movie is just as bad as the premise. Stay far, far away from this clichéd, headache inducing piece of shit. 0 stars.

Jumper – 2008 (PG-13)

Netflix says: The product of a broken home, Davey Rice (Hayden Christensen) is looking for a way to escape his abusive father -- and finds it when he discovers he can teleport himself at will -- in this sci-fi thriller from director Doug Liman. But Davey's newfound powers soon become a double-edged sword that exacts a terrible price and attracts unwanted attention from the National Security Agency. Samuel L. Jackson, Diane Lane and Tom Hulce co-star.

Matt says: It’s a nifty concept, the whole “group of people who can teleport at will being chased by religious nuts”… too bad that was all there was too it. There is absolutely nothing more going on than chase after chase. It’s action packed, but it’s lacking depth or meaning. For a Sci-Fi actioner time waster, it’s not bad, just don’t expect to do much more than blow an hour and a half on flashy colors, slick special effects, and lots and lots of chasing. 3 stars.

Sucker Punch – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In this mind-warping action thriller, Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a girl slated for lobotomy in a 1950s-era asylum, leads a group of young female inmates in an attempt to escape both their mental fantasy worlds and the actual institution where they are prisoners. To accomplish her plan, Baby Doll must steal five objects -- but is the man who's trying to stop her real, or a figment of her imagination? Zack Snyder (Watchmen) directs.

Matt says: Zack Snyder has a very unique visual style that I adore, but he also loves slow motion, which I don’t. It isn’t bad in small doses, yet Snyder overuses it much too often. Therefore, each time I watch one of his movies I am equally enamored and agitated. Just as “300” was a lover letter to Frank Miller and “Watchmen” was a love letter to Alan Moore (even though Moore was against it from the get-go), “Sucker Punch” is a love letter to Japanese manga and anime. Hot, scantily clad young women shoot and samurai sword their way through action sequence after action sequence with a plot as convoluted as most anything from the land of the rising sun. There are giant robots, zombie steam-punk Nazis, dragons, old temples, jet packs, Gatling guns, and thigh-high stockings galore. Sure it is overly depressing, has too much going on for an action flick, and is way too predictable, but it’s still a pretty cool movie. Snyder has a way of capturing the feel of comic books in live action better than anyone else (Nolan is better at character development and themes). If Snyder would have trimmed some of the fat and re-arranged the protagonists’ situations, it would’ve been more enjoyable and I would have given it a better rating. But, because there’s a bunch of needless, emo bullshit to watch between the glorious action, I can’t give this higher than 3 1/2 stars.

The Adjustment Bureau – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: A congressman (Matt Damon) who's a rising star on the political scene finds himself entranced by a beautiful ballerina (Emily Blunt), but mysterious circumstances ensure that their love affair is predestined to be a non-starter. Screenwriter George Nolfi (The Bourne Ultimatum) makes his directorial debut with this romantic adaptation of Philip K. Dick's classic sci-fi short story "Adjustment Team."

Matt says: Matt Damon sure can run from bad guys. In three “Bourne” movies he runs and runs, stopping to fight back briefly between all the running. He does a lot of running in “The Adjustment Bureau” too, but the motivation is different and the Sci-Fi plot feels somewhat original (I said somewhat). But, you know, this is more love story than anything else. The Sci-Fi theme and Damon running is enough to get guys into the theater, but when it’s all said and done, you have a weak Sci-Fi thriller overwhelmed by a much stronger love story (like “Somewhere in Time” and “The Lake House”). I felt duped. Not a bad movie in concept, but the ending left me feeling wholly unsatisfied and made the film lose credibility. I have a feeling there were A LOT of liberties taken with Dick’s original story. 2 1/2 stars.

Paul – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Nick Frost and Simon Pegg star as two science-fiction freaks who, while on a quest to discover what lies at the heart of Nevada's infamous Area 51, cross paths with an alien (voice of Seth Rogen) on the run from earthly authorities. The irreverent duo that brought us Shaun of the Dead assembled an impressive cast that includes Jane Lynch, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig and Blythe Danner for this raucous cross-country romp.

Matt says: Frost and Pegg are real life uber-geeks and, instead of masking that fact with zombies and shootouts, they finally said “fuck it” and pulled off the normal masks to reveal how very super geeky they are. In “Paul”, they play Sci-Fi loving writers who go to comic conventions, quote 80s TV and films, and get excited over samurai swords… so they basically play themselves. After the convention, they take a detour to Nevada to hit alien sighting sites and Area 51. A chance encounter has them meet Paul, a cigarette smoking, drinking, foul mouthed, drug using alien. Ok, so it’s not an original concept, but shit, Alf had American Dad beat by 20 years… and before that, there were other “alien” shows with aliens that weren’t completely social by their respective eras’ standards. Originality aside, the one good thing that both Frost and Pegg excel is parody. “Shaun of the Dead” was a great zombie parody, “Hot Fuzz” a decent cop parody, and Paul actually does a better job than “Super 8” in capturing a heart felt alien summer blockbuster. Sure, they didn’t have to budget of “Super 8”, but the feeling was more genuine. Since Frost and Pegg are really good friends in real life, that reflects in their characters, giving them a comradery that you just don’t get with strangers playing best friends. I wouldn’t say that “Paul” is hilarious, but it’s funny and amusing and the geeks who watch it will enjoy the inside jokes peppering the film. A movie a little too cute for the likes of Frost and Pegg, but raunchy enough to make it palatable. 3 1/2 stars.

Super 8 – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: With a nod toward producer Steven Spielberg's landmark sci-fi films of the 1970s and '80s, writer-director J.J. Abrams crafts a supernatural tale about six kids who witness something incredible while shooting a movie with their Super 8 camera.

Matt says: J.J. Abrams is really really good at keeping viewers’ interest by holding back information. With “Lost”, the audience was hooked on secrets galore, in “Cloverfield” we hung on to hopefully catch more than a burry glimpse of the creature, and in “Super 8” the mystery wraps you in and keeps you watching. What J.J. Abrams is not good at is eventually revealing the secrets; they’re usually sub-par and anti-climatic (seriously… who liked the last episode of “Lost” or the ending to “Cloverfield”?). So I guess it’s always about the ride and not the destination with good old Abrams. “Super 8” does to a bang-up job mirroring Spielberg’s earlier films, while feeling like an Abrams film. The young cast does a good job and the effects are top notch… so why was I not totally entertained? I think it’s because the movie just never felt like a blockbuster. Spielberg created the summer blockbuster by making small movies feel larger than they were. Hard work, rich stories, and advanced looking effects propelled his movies into a whole new category that every studio had to mimic. His movies became the standard and now we’re saturated with the formula every summer. Abrams tried to take a large movie and encapsulate it, reversing time to capture what was lost to the bastardization of Spielberg’s formula by the studios. But, that actually took some of the film’s effectiveness away. You can’t force charm, it has to come organically, and the movie felt too polished to be a fun, gritty, early Spielberg summer blockbuster. It’s not a bad film at all, but it honestly could’ve just been an episode of The Outer Limits instead of a huge summer film. 3 1/2 stars.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes – 1970 (G)

Netflix says: Astronaut Brent (James Franciscus) crash-lands on Earth and journeys to Ape City to rescue the vanished Col. Taylor. Meanwhile, simians and subterranean human mutants are bent on destroying each other and the world in this sequel to the original sci-fi hit. Charlton Heston reprises his role as Taylor, and Linda Harrison plays his mute mate, Nova, who accompanies Brent on his mission. Ted Post directs.

Matt says: The original “Planet of the Apes” is an iconic piece of Science Fiction cinema. Not only does it have one of the best twists this side of “Soylent Green”, but it also has Charlton “Chuck” Heston chewing up the scenery every chance he gets. It was such a cultural hit that it spawned four sequels, a TV series, and a buttload of merchandise. I’ve only seen the original recently (and Tim Burton’s abomination). I never knew the order of the other films (back in the dark ages before the internet) and would catch pieces of them without knowing what the hell was going on. In thinking about revisiting the series, I knew the sequels wouldn’t live up to the original and I was weary since the big “tell” is revealed in the first film. Well, I got the boxed set of the original films for my birthday, so what better excuse to see what I’ve been missing! “Beneath the Planet of the Apes” brings Chuck back, although only briefly before passing the cheesy overacting baton to Franciscus. It also takes place right after the events of the first film, so it feels like an extension of it. The plot is intriguing (taking an odd, but enjoyable turn about an hour in) and the ending is more than satisfactory. I’d have to say I quite enjoyed it… not as much as the original, but enough to make me want to see what the rest of the series has to offer. I still can’t hear Dr. Zaius’s name without (warning, it gives the spoiler of the original movie away) thinking of this. 3 1/2 stars.

The Hidden – 1987 (R)

Netflix says: A string of cold-blooded murders puzzles diligent Los Angeles detective Tom Beck (Michael Nouri), who can't figure out why regular people keep turning into merciless killers. When mysterious FBI agent Lloyd arrives (Kyle MacLachlan), Beck learns his problem is from another world. Soon, Beck is the human caught in the middle of an extraterrestrial showdown that's playing out on the streets of Los Angeles. Jack Sholder directs this sci-fi cult classic.

Matt says: “The Hidden” is a cheap little Sci-Fi thriller that never fully explores its cool premise. Maybe it was the lack of budget or the “fish out of water” comic relief, but it was too light as a movie to be a solid actioner. Sure, there’s a lot of gun fire, but that was about it for the violence; by today’s standards it would be rated PG-13. Still, MacLachlan steals the show as an FBI agent that doesn’t seem to have all his marbles together, the overall idea is a neat one, and there are some impressive stunts. Overall a fun time, but it can’t help but feel lacking. Those who have nostalgic memories may rate this higher, but I found it only deserving 3 stars.

Source Code – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Jake Gyllenhaal portrays a soldier recruited for a time-bending government investigation that places him in another man's mind and body, reliving the same traumatic event repeatedly in an effort to identify the perpetrators of a terrorist bombing. Vera Farmiga plays a communications specialist who provides the vital link to the soldier's primary reality as he searches for critical clues within a recurring nightmare.

Matt says: Duncan Jones’ previous movie, “Moon”, was an original and entertaining “hard” science fiction movie. I got excited when I found out “Source Code” was also directed by Jones. First, after seeing the trailer, I was a little put off as it appeared to be another “Paycheck” type of movie. Still, the pull of Jones led me to see it. It proved to be not quite as good as “Moon”, but still a fine movie. It opens up a somewhat original take on time travel (influenced by another movie, which can’t be mentioned due to it being a big plot spoiler) and leaves the viewer with some nice discussion material at the end. The “thriller” portion of the movie allows for all of this to reveal itself naturally as the audience learns along with Gyllenhaal’s character. Granted, there are a few holes in the logic, but I honestly think it was the best they could do to present their ideas and keep the movie palatable to people who aren’t “hard” Sci-Fi minded. I recommend this, but with a bit of advice… give it a chance. It may not seem like it’s going anywhere, there is much thrown in to make it mass-marketable, and it’s a little far fetched in theory, but it does pay off at the end. 4 stars.

Skyline – 2010 (PG-13)

Netflix says: After a wild night of partying with friends, Terry (Donald Faison) awakens to discover that he's one of the few remaining people on Earth. Banding together with a small group of survivors (Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson, David Zayas, Brittany Daniel and Crystal Reed), Terry sets out to solve the mystery of what happened to the human race. Greg and Colin Strause (whose work includes the visual effects for Avatar and 300) direct.

Matt says: Alien invasion movie isn’t as bad as everyone says it is, but it’s still not a good movie. The build-up to the invasion is a brief one, and after things start, it turns into an hour of people running and screaming and getting snatched by different sized CGI alien creatures. The effects are actually very good, but it seems that the producers neglected to spend their budget any anything but the effects. The script is a rushed mess of formulaic clichés, the acting is about on par with a made for the SyFy channel giant monster flick, and there’s a a number of close escapes that border on patronizing. The worst crime is the questions that are never answered; there is literally no closure at all to the movie. I guess that’s part of the point; we’re following normal folks and observing everything from their viewpoint. But as a moviegoer, you can’t help but feel a little gypped. It’s as if the creators had this really cool idea, but didn’t know what to do with it. For a fun time waster on a Sunday afternoon, you could do worse. Just make sure to shut your brain off and know it goes no deeper than flashy lights and colors… although, there’s a review on Netflix by BeautifulMonster that has a different take on it (and gives the movie some credibility), but it seems to be reaching a bit. Rent if you’re curious, but I would wait until it is endlessly rerun on SyFy. 2 1/2 stars.

Never Let Me Go – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Based on Kazuo Ishiguro's acclaimed novel, this sci-fi drama from director Mark Romanek is centered on thirtysomething Kathy (Carey Mulligan), who reflects on her time spent at Hailsham, an English boarding school, alongside classmates Ruth (Keira Knightley) and Tommy (Andrew Garfield). Born for an unusual reason, the three struggle with their destiny and their love triangle. Charlotte Rampling plays headmistress Miss Emily.

Matt says: The novel for this was required reading in one of my classes. The class was an interesting one… we had to read four western writings from different time periods, starting with “Paradise Lost” and ending with this. We then connected those bookends to the other two readings, “The Great Gatsby” and “Frankenstein”. Themes included religion, desire, progression, morality, and the impact all have on each other. While an interesting read, I found “Never Let Me Go” to be a little too slow-paced and melodramatic for me to love it. Still, it left enough of an impression (due to the excellent writing) to make me want to see if the movie captured the feel of the novel. Though technically Science Fiction (it takes place in an alternate reality where science has progressed to the point that lifespans are increased well into the mid-100s), it’s more focused on the drama of the children’s lives. The movie is a decent adaptation; it hits all the key points and the ending has just as much of an impact. It gives away a little too much too early, which takes some of the mystery out of the narrative, but the whole story is still revealed at the novel’s pace. It also omitted the one part of the novel that made me tear up; an important scene that set the mood for the rest of the story. All that being said, if you look at the themes like we did in my class, you can see that it’s deeper than just a typical drama. To discuss the details any further would effect the discovering of it for yourself. I do recommend this to those looking for a slowly unfolding literary piece that culminates into a discussion worthy endeavor. 4 stars.

Cube 2: Hypercube – 2002 (R)

Netflix says: Eight strangers wake up trapped in a giant cube in which every door leads to more cubes just like the last. As the prisoners explore their strange habitat, they come to realize that they're inside a dimension where the laws of physics don't apply. As time goes on, they learn that if they can't find a way out soon, they'll face certain death. Presented with mysterious clues to aid in their escape, they'll have work together to find the only way out.

Matt says: After the wholly disappointing “Cube Zero”, I decided to go back and watch this (seeing as I defended it in that review). A second Cube movie didn’t need to be made as the first was original, clever, and entertaining enough as a stand-alone piece. Although this is of less quality than the original “Cube”, it’s enjoyable enough to keep your interest. There’s still the claustrophobia of the first movie, but added is the whole “hyper dimension” aspect. In this the cube is a tesseract (essentially a four dimensional cube). Time and alternate realities play part in the puzzle of the endless rooms. It’s an interesting addition that keeps you wondering what the hell is going on. The ending is less satisfying than the original, the acting not as good, and the puzzles and traps are not as effective, but I still enjoyed it. For what it is, Cube 2 is an acceptable attempt. 3 stars.

Monsters – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Six years after aliens invaded Earth, a security force maintains tenuous control in the Infected Zone straddling the U.S.-Mexican border. Andrew (Scoot McNairy), a photographer, is documenting this war-torn area when he's interrupted by an unexpected rescue mission. Samantha (Whitney Able), daughter of a media mogul who just happens to be his boss, needs an escort home, and Andrew reluctantly takes on the job.

Matt says: I’m a kaiju (giant monster) movie fan. I’ve seen every Godzilla movie made, loved “Cloverfield”, and even have a Godzilla tattooed on my leg. “Monsters” takes an interesting stab at the genre. The story isn’t as much about the giant monsters, but about a photographer who is trying to get money shots of them and the boss’ daughter he is needs to escort through a battle torn Central America. Most of the monster footage is seen through television clips and the after effects of their rampages. As they make their way to safety, the couple begin to become closer to each other as they face the difficulties of their journey. Of course, I wanted to see as much of the monsters as possible and it’s a little disappointing that they’re not displayed more prominently. However, choosing to follow the human aspect of an unconceivable horror such as a giant alien monster invasion was a clever way for an indie filmmaker to make that type of movie on the cheap as well as giving it a personable feel. It’s all done very well and the result is entertaining and interesting. Rumor has it the director of this is slated to direct the next American Godzilla reboot. If he keeps the same serious tone as well as the realistic feel of “Monsters” and uses them for Godzilla, it’s going to be an epic film. “Monsters” gets 4 stars.

Tron: Legacy – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: While investigating the mysterious disappearance of his father, Kevin (Jeff Bridges), techie Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund) lands in a beguiling computerized world of enslaved gladiators, where his dad has been living for more than 20 years. Joined by Kevin's trusted friend (Olivia Wilde), the father and son must journey across a breathtaking -- and perilous -- cyberscape in this 21st-century update to the beloved 1982 sci-fi classic.

Matt says: I totally expected to hate this going in to it. The first movie got a less than favorable review from me and I didn’t hear good things about this one. I was pleasantly surprised when it exceeded my expectations. Sure, the acting was as wooden as the first (quite literally when the CGI version of Bridges was on screen) and the story was so-so, but it was full of excitement and great effects. The best thing though was the music by Daft Punk and the whole thing had a very cool visual esthetic to it. Even though it’s a sequel, it sets things up for a new mythology and leaves the ending wide open for a sequel of its own. It was worth checking out in the theater, due to the immersive 3D and excellent sound. Hedlund does a decent job as Flynn’s son, but his character seems a little too perfect. For a 3D movie, it’s a shame the characters turned out so two dimensional. Olivia Wilde was great and looked hot as hell in her skin-tight Tron outfit. I’ve loved her every since her run on “House” and the look they gave her made her even sexier. Bridges was good in his true self, but the CGI “young” Bridges looked like those creepy “The Polar Express” characters. I guess real looking human CGI is not quite a perfect science yet. So, yeah, I had fun with “Tron: Legacy” and enjoyed the experience… big whoop, wanna fight about it?!?! 3 1/2 stars.

Cube Zero – 2004 (R)

Netflix says: A group of men and women are forced to venture through a deadly maze in this prequel to the sci-fi thriller Cube, but the third installment of this film franchise is mainly from the perspective of Eric (Zachary Bennett), a Cube technician who himself becomes trapped. In this exhilarating tale about a stranger-than-fiction space, only those who locate the labyrinth's exit emerge from the experience alive -- because every room promises danger.

Matt says: The first “Cube” movie was a tension filled mystery. A few people wake up in a big metal square room with six exits. Each exit leads other rooms, all with six exits… and some with deadly traps. That’s it. How’d they get there? Who made the rooms? Are they even on Earth? Will they get out? The viewer felt like part of the group and as puzzles unfolded there was a sense of satisfaction in the ending. It was a surprise independent hit, much like the first “Saw”. “Cube Zero” makes the same mistake the “Saw” series made in later movies: trying to put a mythology behind the mystery. It recycles ideas from the first movie and, worst of all, gives way too much information. Although the effects are pretty good, and it started out promising, everything else about “Cube Zero” is pretty poor. You have no sympathy for the characters (who are performed by less than skilled actors) and the story becomes comically bad in the end. Although the second movie in the trilogy, “Cube 2: Hypercube”, took things to a bizarre science fiction level by introducing time travel and quantum physics to the cube, it still was better than this waste of time. 1 1/2 stars.

Equilibrium – 2002 (R)

Netflix says: In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: Books, art and music are strictly forbidden, and feeling is a crime punishable by death -- a rule that's enforced by feeding the denizens a mood-limiting drug. John Preston (Christian Bale) is a top government official responsible for destroying those who resist the rules. But when he misses a dose of his own medication, he experiences a pang of conscience.

Matt says: Take one part “Fahrenheit 451”, one part “1984”, and add a dash of “The Matrix”, and you have the unoriginal stew that is “Equilibrium”. It seems for a modern science fiction movie to have a chance at mass appeal it must have a dystopian future where the hunter learns that life isn’t all peaches and cream and becomes the hunted. Think about it. In the past 8 years, what mainstream adult science fiction movies can you remember off the top of your head besides “Equilibrium”? Here’s three that come instantly to my mind: “Repo Men”, “Minority Report”, and “Paycheck”. Now, maybe that’s because I just saw this, but all of them have basically that same plot. “Equilibrium” does seem to update its influences to reflect a post 9/11 America. In the future, everyone must take a daily dose of emotion suppressor as mandated by the nanny state. This is to prevent all the negative emotions that caused WWIII (it sounds less corny in context). Stimulus that cause emotions are banned and those who disobey get “taken away”. Now, modern society isn’t trying to suppress emotions yet, but the ever watchful eye of the government does seem to be telling us more and more what we should and should not do… all to protect us from ourselves. So, I guess it was successful in getting its point across. It also has lots of guns and people getting shot and faces getting sliced off, so I did enjoy it. Although it’s nothing new, “Equilibrium” is a decent action/sci-fi movie. 3 1/2 stars.

A Boy and His Dog – 1975 (R)

Netflix says: A young Don Johnson stars as Vic, who roams a postapocalyptic wasteland accompanied by his telepathic, ever-grumbling dog and eventually winds up in the clutches of a female-dominated underground society that wants his sperm. This low-budget cult film remains darkly humorous and unflinchingly brutal as its characters face difficult choices -- and the end of the world as they know it. Jason Robards co-stars.

Matt says: Well, this is a strange one. Considering the time it was made and the low budget, they did a pretty excellent job capturing the modern idea of a post-apocalyptic wasteland as seen in the Mad Max series, the Fallout games, The Book of Eli, The Road, etc. Since this predates them all, I can’t help but think it was a major influence (especially on The Road Warrior and the Fallout games). So basically, the story is that Don Johnson wanders the wasteland with a telepathic sheep dog scavenging, looking for a piece of ass, and shooting people. He encounters all sorts of eccentric characters until he finally discovers an underground society who want his sperm for propagation… and not in the fun way. It all culminates into a darkly humorous and satisfactory conclusion. The bitter look at marriage, reproduction, society, and religion come off as blunt, but it’s weird and fun enough to not feel weighted down. I’m always one for a good bizarre cult sci-fi flick and this didn’t fail to deliver. 4 stars.

Colossus: The Forbin Project – 1970 (NR)

Netflix says: A Department of Defense supercomputer known as Colossus develops its own intelligence independent of the machine's programmers; starts sharing classified information with Guardian, its Soviet counterpart; and launches a plan for global domination. A frighteningly believable thriller that was ahead of its time in 1970, the movie stars Susan Clark, Eric Braeden, William Schallert and Georg Stanford Brown.

Matt says: Slightly dated in some aspects, yet eerily accurate in others, “Colossus” proves to be a warning for the future. With the cold war still strong, the US puts all of its military weaponry and communications in the hands of a super smart computer AI. When that computer decides the human race are dangerous babies, it thinks that it’d be a better idea that it runs the world with its Soviet counterpart. With our own modern leaps in artificial intelligence and reliance in computers, this movie feels more like a premonition than fiction. We already are slaves to our computers and many jobs have been replaced by machines. How long before they control our lives completely? “Colossus” is hard Sci-Fi. There’s no lazar guns, space ships, or even many scenes filmed outside of a couple of enclosed rooms. It’s completely dialog driven, dependant on the drama to propel the story. The writing is quite brilliant, characters behave realistically, and the dialog is not exaggerated. There are allusions to the Cuban Missile Crisis (even the President in this looks an awful lot like Kennedy) and you can tell there is some influence from “2001: A Space Odyssey”. In fact, due to the similarities to Kennedy and the Cuban Missile Crisis, I have a feeling the script was shelved for a few years and dusted off after the success of “2001”. Over all, “Colossus” is smart, tense, well made Sci-Fi. 4 1/2 stars.

Star Crystal – 1986 (R)

Netflix says: Two astronauts on a mission in deep space unwittingly transport a vicious and murderous alien -- in the form of a bizarrely shaped rock -- onto their ship. Little do they know that the "rock" is home to GAR, an insidious, homicidal life form that devours anything in its path … and grows with each new kill! Think The Blob for a new generation.

Matt says: In “Inferno”, Dante’s circles of Hell offer ironic punishments for the sinful. A lustful soul is blown by winds of unquenchable desires and a gluttonous soul wallows as a pig in slop and mud while pelted with excessive rains. There is a little known circle, unmentioned in “The Divine Comedy”, for people who judge movies. In this circle, fucking “Star Crystal” is on a loop and the soul is strapped to a “Clockwork Orange” viewing chair, forced to watch for all eternity. Every minute of this movie is shear, agonizing torture. There is not a moment in which you will not squirm and scream for something to just, fucking, happen! Anything! Just something happen! It only runs at 90 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. So, from what I could gather between fits of rage and disbelief that this abomination was even made, is that: an alien kills some people, more people come, it kills some of them, but then the alien access the ship’s computer, finds god (this video opens right to the scene), and apologizes. They then all become friends, eat dinner together, and get introspective. Finally, the worst goddamned song ever (by Daphne from Scooby Doo, no less) closes out to the credits. Bu…wa?? FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! Look, I had a kidney stone so severe I needed surgery. I had more tubes up my pee-hole in one month than believed possible, pissed blood clots the size of my thumb, and was in constant physical pain. I would gladly go through all of that a second time than ever watch this piece of shit again. And, AND, the thing that boggles the mind, is that it actually had Coca Cola and Campbell’s Soup throw down money for product placement. Coca fucking Cola and Campbell’s fucking Soup paid money for this to be made! The lead actor actually sits down and does a 30 second spot for CAMPBELL’S TOMATO SOUP! AHHHHHH!!!!! And the actor’s name? C. Juston Campbell! That’s right! And his character??? Roger Campbell!! Coincidence??? I think not. I could go in to the horrible acting, effects, music, etc… but the worst crime is how utterly and painfully boring it is. I actually went into the five stages of grief throughout the movie. Yeah, laugh it up, but there’s nothing more embarrassing than bartering with your TV to make it all go away. Fuck you, Lance Lindsay and Eric Woster… fuck you. 0 Stars.

Robot Monster – 1953 (NR)

Netflix says: Ro-Man has been sent to Earth in an advance party for an alien invasion. By the time the monster has finished his mission, only one family remains on Earth. Naturally, Ro-Man falls for the daughter. A communicator that generates bubbles, a robot that looks suspiciously like a man in a gorilla suit and stock footage from old dinosaur movies earn this film a place at the top of the list of classic gloriously bad sci-fi movies from the 1950s.

Matt says: Some 50s Sci-Fi movies were so low budget and poorly made they fall into the “so bad it’s good” category. “Robot Monster” is somewhat one of those movies. There are moments when you’ll laugh at the inexplicable, but other times you’ll just groan at the poorness. It rivals “Plan 9 For Outer Space” as one of the shittiest movies I’ve ever seen. I don’t mean in that it wasn’t enjoyable; it was pretty fun to watch even if it doesn’t make any sense. I mean it’s shitty in production value, acting, pace, continuity, costumes, music, plot… and I bet even the key grip sucked. Yes, this is the infamous movie where the alien invader is a guy in a gorilla outfit with a fishbowl and TV antennae on his head. Nothing about this makes sense. It’s as if a family got together with an idea about alien invaders, grabbed some crap from their garage to make costumes and sets, and then improvised the story as they went along. The dialog is like a series of Sci-Fi buzz words: “Space platform!” “Rocket Ship!” “Ro-Man!” “Super serum!” “Death ray!” And why the hell are all the women dressed in those sleeveless tops? Why do they have a spontaneous wedding (in which the groom is shirtless) smack dab in the middle of the movie? It makes no sense! Why did they have a baby crocodile with a fake fin fight a lizard and then never explain it? Ahhhhh, screw it, who cares… Luckily this runs at just over 60 minutes, so it stays fun without getting too painful… it just doesn’t make any goddamn sense! It sucks, but I enjoyed it like I occasionally enjoy a 7-11 Big Bite. Yeah, you know what you’re getting into, it really doesn’t taste very good, and the shits are inevitable, but there’s something about how horrible it is that compels you to consume it. 2 1/2 stars.

Transmorphers – 2007 (NR)

Netflix says: Three hundred years ago, alien machines landed on Earth, wiping out civilization and driving mankind underground. Now, after three centuries of oppression, a small band of hardened resistance fighters leads the charge to the surface, where the final battle against the giant robots will decide the fate of the world. Amy Weber, Matthew Wolf, Eliza Swenson, Shaley Scott and Griff Furst star in this postapocalyptic techno-thriller.

Marc says: Asylum Films is like the cinematic equivalent of those Chinese manufacturers who press out cheap counterfeit toy knockoffs that wind up on the shelves of Dollar General Stores. Transmorphers, a direct to video “mockbuster” is no different then the hundreds of other shovelware titles pumped out by Asylum. The title, of course, capitalizes on whatever highly anticipated movie is coming out in theaters, and the general intent is to get it on the new release wall of Blockbuster and Wal-Mart right around the same general time as the big budget studio movie’s premiere so as to rope in the hypothetical “uninformed moviewatchers’” rental or purchase dollars. As sleazy as that is, the actual product on display here is so terrible as to be personally insulting. The acting is no more than rotely memorized lines recited from a nonsensical and barren script, the direction consists of static camera shots with nearly no framing or purpose, special effects are below-par even when compared with CGI utilized in Xena: The Warrior Princess over 10 years ago, every single plot point, conceit, and twist is borrowed from other movies, and there are missing sound effects, visual effects, and de-synced audio throughout the entire wretched 85 minutes of runtime. The whole endeavor is one of the most creatively bankrupt things I have ever had the misfortune to witness. As an aside, this movie first came to my attention, when, at the time of its DTV release, the director actually had the audacity to aggressively defend this travesty by attacking his critics on the IMDB message boards. “I would like to see you do better!” he would cry, as if such an argument had any weight or meaning in view of this celluloid abortion he saw fit to claim as a work of art. My take: You don’t need to be a five-star French gourmet chef to know when you’ve just been served rotten meat. This movie sucks, the director knows it, and he should own his failure, just like everybody else has to, whether other people can do it better or not. 0 stars.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration – 2009 (R)

Netflix says: When a Chechen Islamic extremist threatens the world with another nuclear disaster centered in Chernobyl, Ukraine, futuristic supersoldier Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) leads a team to recapture the power plant and disarm the madman. But when the terrorist turns a clone of Deveraux's old sergeant (Dolph Lundgren) against him, the hero must first take out his old pal. John Hyams directs this installment in the Universal Soldier saga.

Marc says: It is surprisingly good for being a direct to video production, and doubly surprisingly good for being a sequel to a throwaway action movie franchise. But, the biggest surprise is just how good this is as a stand-alone military science-fiction movie. Gritty, brutal, no-nonsense combat violence, bleak and unrelenting atmosphere, minimalistic and effective synthesizer score, and well-done straightforward performances by everyone involved. One of those true “diamond in the rough” finds. 4 solid stars!

Matt says: I saw the original “Universal Soldier” over 18 years ago when it played at the theater I worked at as a teen. I liked it enough, but wasn’t blown away. Over the years, there were several direct to video sequels, which I heard were utter crap so I stayed away from them. When Marc rented this and said that it was actually a good movie, I still was skeptical, but willing to give it a chance. I added it to my queue, but as the year went on, it kept getting pushed further and further back. Now, having seen it, I can say truthfully that it’s a pretty decent movie. The plot, dialog, and even music feel like a late 80s/early 90s action film… but with a heaping of 2000’s grit. It actually rivals “The Expendables” as the quintessential action throw back. Van Damme is a fine wine; he just keeps getting better with age. After the highly enjoyable “JCVD”, I gained a different appreciation for him. He is no longer the pretty boy ass-kicker. Now, he’s the aging, introspective ex-ass-kicker who is regrettably forced into fighting. It gives his roles more depth. It was also good to see Lundgren back with Van Damme, though it takes two thirds of the movie for him to even show up. If I remember the original, there was a rivalry between the two that returns in this. Most of all, it’s a well polished film. The direction and editing is spot on, the music is never distracting or inappropriate, everyone plays their roles wholeheartedly, there’s growth in the returning characters, the effects are excellent, and it has tense scenes of action and drama. I was pleasantly surprised! Who would have known that after three lousy direct to video sequels, a less than popular franchise would produce a movie that was worthy of the theatrical run it never got? 4 stars.

The Road - 2009 (R)

Netflix says: From the ash-covered, post-apocalyptic remains of Appalachia, the Father (Viggo Mortensen) and Son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) take to the road in search of a better life. But the Father's health is failing, lending urgency to a journey impeded by nomadic bands of cannibals. Charlize Theron co-stars in this adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, set in a fictional near future in which the world has been virtually destroyed.

Marc says: Exceptionally bleak story tells the bitter tale of a Father and Son as they travel south towards the coast after a planetary-wide apocalypse. Shares little in common with the post-apocalypse adventure genre, as the game-ender here is treated as truly an extinction level event, rather than an excuse to get decked out in some assless leather chaps. Powerful visuals, used sparingly, but effectively, and Mortensen’s stubborn, fearful, and determined performance really sell the experience. The small rays of hope didn’t necessarily feel out of place at the end, I guess, but, like the title suggests, the best part of this was definitely the journey and not its destination. 4 solid stars.

Matt says: The Road is not just a movie about surviving in a post-Apocalyptic wasteland, it’s also a parable of raising a child in modern society as a single father. Mortensen is Man, and together with Boy, they travel across a land of harsh reality, cruelty, and greed, where people (literally) devour each other. Everyone they meet has their own agendas and it’s up to Man to teach Boy that no one can be completely trusted. Man is scarred, mostly from his wife leaving him alone with Boy. He never wanted to raise him alone, but he understands that he is a father and owns up to the responsibility. He teaches Boy survival, retribution, and most importantly, how to work for your goals in a world where everyone seems to be trying to stop you. But Boy isn’t the only one who learns… Man learns things that he forgot with age and from being disheartened by the pressures of responsibility. It’s not an easy road, but it’s life. The book won the Pulitzer Prize for its depth… it surely wasn’t for a story of a man and boy walking down a road. The movie really does capture the feel of the novel. There’s very little omitted and the cast give great performances. The problem is that it is very, very bleak, so much so that it can be difficult to absorb. The ending is also a bit had to swallow, but for different reasons. But, like Marc said, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. There’s much more to explore (that I left out to avoid spoilers), which is glad I gave this a second watch. It’s a dark, depressing, beautiful movie that works well as a stand-alone experience and as a visual companion piece to the novel. 4 1/2 stars.

Interstella 5555 - 2003 (NR)

Netflix says: Always keen to push the boundaries of the video medium, highly influential electronic duo Daft Punk presents the album "Discovery" via this stunning animated feature made in collaboration with well-known anime and manga creator Leiji Matsumoto. With no dialogue or sound effects, the movie combines the band's euphoric house beats -- featuring the rhythmic tune "One More Time" and others -- with Matsumoto's unlimited imagination.

Matt says: “Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem” is basically Daft Punk’s entire “Discovery” album put to an animated movie from the director of the original 70s “Battleship Yamato”, aka “Star Blazers”, series (which has a new live action movie coming out this month!). Yes, it’s a heap of awesome backed by a heap of awesome. There is a story, although there is no dialog or sound effects. This may turn off casual viewers, but since the movie was built from the album, lyrics and samples fill in the need for voices. The plot is a basic one: invaders capture a peaceful group of alien musicians, turn them human, and force them to perform for greedy corporate profit as part of a plot to take over the universe. Ok, so it’s loose, but this wasn’t meant to be “Akira”. Unlike a “Dark Side of Oz”, the movie was made for the music, so it fits very well. The animation is a step above “Yamato” and has nice visual accents that bring colorful transitions and compliments to the music. Daft Punk’s videos have always turned their music into audio/visual experiences and I expected no less from this. I was not disappointed. 4 solid stars. Just for fun, check out this amazing amateur video for Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” (give it 2 minutes to really begin to impress you).

Monsters – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Six years after aliens invaded Earth, a security force maintains tenuous control in the Infected Zone straddling the U.S.-Mexican border. Andrew (Scoot McNairy), a photographer, is documenting this war-torn area when he's interrupted by an unexpected rescue mission. Samantha (Whitney Able), daughter of a media mogul who just happens to be his boss, needs an escort home, and Andrew reluctantly takes on the job.

Marc says: Due to the premise and the hand-held documentary approach to the material, comparisons to District 9 and Cloverfield are inevitable. For the most part, the film deftly avoids becoming derivative, and instead delivers an interesting take on an alien invasion that is steeped in Hurricane Katrina imagery and the continuing debate over immigration along the Southern U.S. border. The aliens, implausible in origin as can be, are nonetheless shown to be simply an invasive species, with little to no actual malice, or even interest in the human beings they now share the planet with. All of this is left completely unresolved at the end, as is the human story around which much of the film revolves. Nonetheless, the nearly complete allegorical approach to current issues is generally handled well (if not with any special subtlety), and it is always a nice change of pace to see science fiction used for something deeper than laser sword duels and shiny spaceships. B-

Mom and Dad Save the World – 1992 (PG)

Netflix says: Emperor Tod (Jon Lovitz) of the planet Spengo kidnaps a suburban housewife in this sci-fi comedy. Bent on taking over the universe, Tod abducts earthling Marge (Teri Garr) with designs to make her his empress, threatening to destroy Earth unless she becomes his bride. It's up to Marge and her husband, Dick (Jeffrey Jones), to save mankind from the wrath of Tod. Eric Idle, Wallace Shawn and Kathy Ireland co-star.

Marc says: About the only thing to recommend this sci-fi “send-up” is the production design, which appears to be Flash Gordon as interpreted by Oingo-Boingo. Otherwise, the comedy level is exceptionally low. Lovable pedophile Jeffrey Jones, Jon Lovitz, and an aging Teri Garr all do what they can with the material, but the writing is so poor, that hardly a minute goes by without some cringe inducing “joke” falling flat. Might have some vague appeal for non-discerning children, but since the focus is on a middle-aged couple rekindling their relationship through slapstick-style swashbuckling derring-do, I’m hard pressed to believe that this would appeal to anyone, at anytime, anywhere. D minus.

Kite Liberator – 2008 (NR)

Netflix says: Monaka seems to be an average high school girl. But she has a dark and terrible secret linking her past to a murderous police detective and her future to a fatal duel with the one person she loves most in the world. All the while, the mysterious Angel of Death walks the city streets exacting pain on unsuspecting victims who've asked for it. This anime is the sequel to Yasuomi Umetsu's controversial Kite.

Marc says: Cash-in OVA is only tangentially related to the superb Kite in that it features some sideways references to the first movie. Plot and material wise, though, they have nothing to do with each other. The story in this one goes left-field about 20 minutes in, and never recovers. If you really must know, it concerns an astronaut who mutates into some kind of rampaging (and poorly animated) bone golem. Yep. Although there are vestigial trappings of the avenging female vigilante on which the first Kite was premised, nothing remains of the dark, morally empty, and disturbing psychological and sexual overtones that really set the original apart from the pack. Take that away, and you’re left with a nonsensical plot and pointless fan-service. Grade D for disappointment.

Splice – 2009 (R)

Netflix says: Ignoring instructions from the pharmaceutical company that funds their research, groundbreaking genetic scientists Elsa (Sarah Polley) and Clive (Adrien Brody) continue with an unorthodox experiment to create a human-animal hybrid, a new life form they dub "Dren" (Delphine Chanéac). When they see their fantastical creation, Clive warns that it should be destroyed, but Elsa refuses -- a decision she'll regret when Dren makes deadly plans of her own.

Matt says: Creepy sci-fi movie works on fears of modern genetic research. You mean scientists are making fluorescent cats, jellyfish monkeys, and spider goats??? What’s next? A zombie pig??? It goes against all that is holy! Well, in “Splice”, they take the genetic tampering to the next inevitable step… a human/animal hybrid. When Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley create a new life form they dub “Dren” (Get it??? No? It’s “nerd” backwards, doofus), little do they realize she’ll turn out to be a sexy, violent evolutionary leap. I guess it wouldn’t have been much of a movie if she (it?) didn’t end up that way. As one who believes that anything goes with scientific research (except for the LHC… when that thing finally blows, we’re all going to be fighting off head crabs*), I found this to be a bit exploitative. Much like Reefer Madness and “squares”, it prays on the fears of god-fearing fundamentalists that have issues with stem-cell research, cloning, and child inoculations. Looking outside of the ethical questions to a pure cinematic experience, it’s an easily forgettable film. I mean, everything is done properly, but in a world were the Hollywood machine churns out 10 new movies a week, a film has to be exceptional to gain any staying power. It’s a shame it doesn’t have any as it really isn’t a bad movie at all… but at the current rate of scientific research, it will be dated in five years. Much like a 1970s Hammer vampire knock-off, “Splice” will be lucky to go down in film history as a footnote. I enjoyed it, but would’ve easily missed it if I hadn’t saved in the the Netflix queue at its initial theatrical run. 3 stars.

*A note on that CERN/Half Life hyperlink: I’m glad the good folks at CERN have a sense of humor about how they could potentially destroy all reality as we know it… but, the LHC scares the ever-loving shit out of me. By the way, it goes online 11/9. It was nice knowing everyone…

The New Barbarians – 1982 (NR)

Netflix says: It's 2019, and a nuclear holocaust has devastated the world. Soldiers of fortune Nadir (Fred Williamson) and Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete) find themselves in the unenviable position of protecting a wandering caravan of religious nomads from a ruthless biker gang known as the Templars. The duo will do whatever they can to save the innocents in this over-the-top sci-fi adventure directed by Enzo G. Castellari.

Marc says: As the opening credits roll, a model city gets nuked, which then dissolves into a tableau of skeltonized astronauts in space suits scattered around their crashed ship. Some seconds later, a bunch of Mad Max rejects in Stormtrooper armor show up to slaughter a band of survivors still clinging in vain to their Christian god. Although it’s a ripoff of The Road Warrior, through and through, there enough little strange touches in this to make it an enjoyable Grade-Z shitfest. The production design is weird enough, as it squashes together the aesthetic from Barbarella with the post-apocalyptic trappings from the Mad Max series(!) Add in the villains, who are running a homosexual death cult, Fred “The Hammer” Williamson shooting explosive tipped arrows into some fools’ necks just for laughs, and see through bullet-proof body armor, and you may start to get a feel for what this is all about. 3 stars.

Sunshine – 2007 (R)

Netflix says: The sun is dying and Earth's days are numbered in this sci-fi thriller helmed by Oscar winner Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire). With permanent darkness looming, scientists devise a plan to reignite the sun before the lights go out forever. To do so, a crew of astronauts is sent hurtling through space on an intense mission to determine the fate of the planet. Cillian Murphy and Michelle Yeoh co-star.

Matt says: “Sunshine”, much like “Moon”, is a rarity: it’s well written, the acting is great, the sets and art direction are beautifully futuristic, and the direction has a professional polish. All that being said, I can see why this didn’t do too well in theaters. It’s not what the typical viewer expects when going to see a modern sci-fi movie. There’s no rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack, no bloodsucking aliens, and no Bruce Willis mugging for the camera. It’s nothing but a solid sci-fi story that unfolds that we good stories do; without compromising suspension of disbelief. The audience isn’t patronized by unbelievable character decisions or situations. It can be overly dramatic at times, the last 3rd of the movie resorts to a bit of a generic chase scenario, and it’s got one major flaw (specifically extreme temperature issues), but at least the characters aren’t having a lightsaber battle 3 inches from lava. Seriously, Lucas? Stick your arm in an oven at 400 degrees… feel that heat? Now multiply it by three. That’s lava. It’ll melt your face off if you’re standing on a rock in the middle of a fucking lava river for 20 minutes. And don’t give me that “but they used the force” crap… we don’t buy it. I have as much a man-crush on Cillian Murphy as Boyle does and he doesn’t disappoint, even if he is underutilized. Hell, even the Human Torch (Chris Evans) does a mighty fine job. And Michelle Yeoh is always stunning, in looks and acting skill. It’s a shame movies like this don’t make more money, or there would be reason for Hollywood to make more. I guess in a country that loves watching orange Jersey douchebags punch girls and game show contestants spend an hour randomly picking briefcases, there’s not much desire for entertainment such as this. 4 stars.

The Running Man – 1987 (R)

Netflix says: In a postapocalyptic world, the government frames Ben Richards (Arnold Schwarzenegger) for a bloody massacre. He's given the option of staying in jail for life or participating in a "gladiator"-type game show that usually leads to death. He opts for the show, teaming with other contestants to survive the game and overthrow the corrupt system. This sci-fi thriller costars Richard Dawson in a twisted send-up of his game-show-host persona.

Matt says: Schwarzenegger movies of the 80s were a staple growing up. My friend Bailey and I would have Schwarzenegger video festivals and see every new movie released in the theater. The Running Man came at the peak of his fame: post Raw Deal and pre-Kindergarten Cop… the salad days. In the original Stephen King novel, Ben Richards signs up for The Running Man game show willingly to afford medicine for his ailing daughter. His family gets more money the longer he survives as he is chased by the game show hunters and civilians alike. He can go anywhere in the world to hide and, if he makes it a month, he gets riches beyond his wildest dreams. The movie throws that all out the window and instead makes Richards a police officer who gets sent to hard labor for insubordination in attempting to prevent a civilian massacre. He joins an underground resistance to escape, gets framed for the massacre, is nabbed trying to flee the country, and is thrown on the show at Dawson’s request. Allusions of professional wrestling abound with elaborately themed warriors (not in the novel) who aim to eliminate him. Arnie spouts catchphrases and quips as he violently dispatches his would be killers. Dawson is excellent as the slimy host of the show whose lack of morals is all too present in modern reality television. It’s 80s action movie fun, made better by Schwarzenegger in his prime, Dawson, and the sci-fi elements. All that and Dweezil Zappa? They just don’t make’em like this any more. 4 stars.

Repo Men – 2010 (UR)

Netflix says: In the world of this sci-fi thriller set in the not-too-distant future, artificial organs are readily available to anybody with a credit card. But what happens if a buyer falls delinquent on his payments? Jude Law stars as an organ repo man who's now fleeing his ex-partner after failing to keep up the payments on his own recently installed ticker. Miguel Sapochnik directs; Forest Whitaker and Liev Schreiber co-star.

Marc says: At least in the unrated version, the movie never shies away from its premise, which allows for several scenes of grotesque invasive surgery carried off in loving, disturbing detail. The viewer has a hard time sympathizing with Jude Law’s character seeing as he is a sick, twisted killer until he suddenly finds the shoe on the other foot. The script tries to compensate for this by giving him a love interest that he cares for, but the female lead seems completely miscast and there is a total lack of any chemistry between her and Law. Despite the timely premise (which could be read as an allegory for the ongoing housing / foreclosure crisis), it appears most of the plot points are ripped straight from Logan’s Run (including the attempt at humanizing the main character by giving him a girlfriend). Beyond the graphic violence, the action scenes seem fairly paint by the numbers, if not derivative (Oldboy comes sharply to mind at one point) and there are several slow parts that drag down the pace. I’ve got to go three stars on this for the end, however, as I can only think of one other film which had the balls to do it.

Matt says: It’s funny that only a few years ago a little indie musical named “Repo! The Genetic Opera” came out, with basically the same plot as this, and no one even mentioned how eerily similar they are. Sure, the musical was also a “Rocky Horror Picture Show” type of film, with exaggerated characters, bizarre costumes, and goddamned Paris Hilton… but the story was about a futuristic society where people get replacement organs and have them repossessed, graphically on the spot by repo men, if they they fall late on payments. I was lukewarm on “The Genetic Opera” (it seemed to try to hard to be weird and to be a cult film) and I am equally lukewarm on this. I really had no desire to see “Repo Men”, but Marc’s review about the ending intrigued me. Now that I’ve seen it, his review pretty much wraps up my thoughts on it as well, though I’d liken it more to “The Running Man” than “Logan’s Run” in that the protagonist is willing to put himself at risk confronting the conglomerate to end the hunt. It’s nothing special, somewhat enjoyable, and the ending (at least in the unrated version, I don’t know if the “R” rated version has them same ending) is pretty ballsy and, at least for me, was a little predictable. It’s painful that it ripped it from one of my favorite movies (a genius work of art), but the statutes of limitations has expired by now and they say imitation is the best form of flattery, so I guess it’s ok. 3 stars.

Replikator: Cloned to Kill – 1994 (R)

Netflix says: Two rival companies race to see who can develop technology to clone humans in this sci-fi actioner. As the competition heats up, the larger corporation plots to wipe out the smaller firm's office. But scientist Ludo's (Michael St. Gerard) experiment on himself goes awry just as the attack commences, causing him to create a homicidal version of himself he must destroy -- if he can catch the evil clone. Ned Beatty and Brigitte Bako co-star.

Marc says: Clearly a Blade Runner rip-off right to its very core, this piece of shit manages to overcome the tired plot, poor acting (even by sad, fat Ned Beatty, who looks 24 hours off from a heart attack in this), and ultra-low budget by shoehorning in a healthy dose of Gibsonesque cyberpunk. In fact, the first 20 or 30 minutes or so are actually pretty decent, since they mainly showcase the characters simply inhabiting the far-flung future of 2014. As a time capsule of the early 90’s vision of where the future was leading, there are some nice touches including a fucked-up ozone layer, photorealistic virtual reality games, a virtual reality porn star, and the aforementioned cyberpunk aesthetic. However, things go downhill fast when the plot kicks in, as the main character gets himself an evil twin by virtue of his experimental matter replicator. The evil twin then proceeds to do all sorts of evil things, like get in a bar fight, heckle a stripper at a strip club, and steal a man’s dog for no other reason than it felt real good. Bonus points for an (ahem, extended) cameo by La Cicciolina and the hilarious Dr. Evil portrayal of the police chief. 2 stars

1990: Bronx Warriors – 1982 (NR)

Netflix says: In a near future when violent gangs rule the Bronx streets, runaway Manhattan heiress Ann (Stefania Girolami Goodwin) shacks up with biker Trash (Mark Gregory) and upsets the fragile social order of gangland in this crazily action-packed thriller, which features a gang on roller skates. Meanwhile, Ann's father, president of the ruthless Manhattan Corporation, hires a vicious mercenary (Vic Morrow) to track down his daughter.

Marc says: Italian knock-off “borrows” liberally from The Warriors and Escape From New York. Interestingly, Carpenter seems to have borrowed it back when creating the central plot for Escape From L.A. where the president’s daughter runs off to join a gang. In any event, there’s some definite B-movie schlock magic at work here, especially during the sequences with Fred Williamson getting superfly as the pimp king of the Bronx and the climax where horse mounted riot police go all Tiananmmen Square on the gangs with flamethrowers. This was poor Vic Morrow’s last role before getting decapitated during the making of The Twilight Zone movie. Admittedly, it’s strictly grade Z shit, but for fans of the genre, you could potentially do a lot worse.

Fortress – 1992 (R)

Netflix says: John Brennick (Christopher Lambert) and his pregnant wife, Karen (Loryn Locklin), are trying to escape their dictatorial government in this futuristic thriller. But before they can get away, the couple is placed in a high-tech prison where machines control inmates' thoughts. Determined to find a way out of this nightmare, John will stop at nothing to protect his family.

Marc says: In the not-so-distant future, husband and wife get incarcerated for committing the crime of having a second child. They get sent to a supermax penitentiary buried underground that is equipped with neutron cannons, a malicious AI, a corrupt and sadistic warden, laser beam cell bars, and many dangerous ledges overhanging a nearly bottomless pit. The Shawshank Redemption it is not. Director Gordon (who I’m starting to think never made a truly good movie aside from Re-animator) carries most of this off in competent, low-budget style. Kurtwood Smith turns in a flat, piss-poor performance as the villain and it is clear he doesn’t give a damn, which is pretty disappointing when one compares it with his turn in say, Robocop. On the other hand, Lambert uncharacteristically provides the energy and enthusiasm to carry the film. A fair amount of gore, good supporting characters (Jeffrey Combs, for one) and some interesting sci-fi touches keep this from being total shit, but the overall execution is still on the level of a Saturday morning cartoon. In that regard,  it seems to be just one more example of Gordon sinking to the level of the material, rather then doing something better with it. (See Robot Jox, for more of the same, if you absolutely must know). Rated 2.5 intestinators out of 5.

Flash Gordon – 1980 (PG)

Netflix says: Flash gets a face-lift in this update of the 1930s comic strip. After being skyjacked (along with comely Dale Arden) to the planet Mongo, Flash (Sam Jones) learns that its merciless ruler, Emperor Ming (Max von Sydow), plans to destroy Earth and take Dale as his concubine. There's only one thing to do: unite Mongo's warring kingdoms, foil Ming's plan and get the girl.

Matt says: Oh, Flash… love of my loves… This is going to be an incredibly biased review as this movie is one of my all time favorites. Bare with me as I gush over the majesty that is Flash Gordon…

As I mentioned before, nostalgia can cloud your judgment on what is actually good and what you remember is good (see my review of Tron). This transcends nostalgia… it is actually an excellent movie. Of course, I adored this movie growing up. Flash was the epitome of manhood: buff, blonde, and chivalrous; a role model for a latchkey child. At the time I couldn’t see the intentional camp and humor behind this adaptation. As I grew older, I saw those things and the movie had a whole new meaning. Now I see it was made with loving care to capture the feeling of the early serials while updating it a bit for modern audiences. Most of the true humor is subtle: overt manly situations, lines that are exceptionally cheesy, and characters overly stereotyped… but it all works. Several other movies have tried to capture the fun of the serials of the 30s and 40s, few have succeeded (see the first 3 Indiana Jones movies for more campy, serial fun). Flash Gordon is not a serious movie and it knows it. People expected more from it and were disappointed. That is not the case for me. This movie is a 1940s Science Fiction story in all it’s glory. Men in space! Ray guns! Hawk people! How could you not enjoy the throwback camp? All this scored by arguably one of the greatest bands of the 1980s, Queen. The soundtrack propels the action, rising to rocking peaks when the action increases and relaxing to rhythmic tones when needed. Worth it alone for the hawk-men’s attack theme and the wedding march. All this with a cast who knows they’re making a campy throw back and play their roles as straight as possible (Richard O’Brian, Timothy Dalton, Max fucking von Sydow… and the highly erotic Ornella Muti). To add to the film are amazing sets and cinematography that would give Kubrick an erection. Every long shot is perfectly centered, the sets enhancing this by being crafted anally symmetrical. As one that appreciates symmetry (due to a slight bout of OCD), it makes the movie extremely aesthetically pleasing to the eye. To casual viewers, it’s not a perfect movie. To one who can appreciate something like this, it’s pure art. 5 “flying blind on a rocket cycle” stars!

Tron – 1982 (PG)

Netflix says: While trying to prove that his boss (David Warner) stole his ideas, video game programmer Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) is literally sucked into a virtual world where he's part of the game. There, he pairs with Tron (Bruce Boxleitner) to bring down a powerful entity known as Master Control Program. Story takes a backseat to technology in this classic that shattered the boundaries of special effects in the early 1980s -- and launched an arcade sensation.

Matt says: Nostalgia has a way of clouding your judgment. If it didn’t, there wouldn’t be a sequel to the G.I. Joe movie or a Smurfs movie being made (or a Tron 2 for that matter). Tron was one of my favorite movies growing up. I had the toys, and when we got our first VCR, I had my jackass of a stepfather make the first recording of Tron. Of course, he didn’t know how to set the VCR up so you can watch the TV while it records, but after it was done, I rewatched it until I learned most of the dialog. 28 years later I decided, with the second movie coming out this winter to much hype, to revisit my childhood love affair. You know, it’s not very good. Ok, so at the time the effects were revolutionary. Never before had a movie use computers this extensively. This was at a time when home computers played games with Atari graphics, didn’t have hard drives, and nobody really had one. Tron’s use of computer animation blew people away. Unfortunately, that is really the only redeeming thing about the movie and now the effects are extremely dated. There’s still something to the design that is appealing and even downright cool, but the plot and acting really bring it down a notch. I know it’s a children’s film, but a lot of the computer references and scientific talk meant for parents forced to sit through it will only confuse the little ones. Hell, I never really understood fully what was going on as a child, even after seeing it countless times. Bridges and Warner give decent performances for their parts, but the rest of the cast is wooden and lifeless. The characters are overly two-dimensional and it never feels fully like an adventure film. Compared to the way modern children’s movies try not to patronize their audience, Tron just doesn’t hold up. Though, this is coming from a jaded adult; kids today may still get a kick out of it. Let’s just hope part 2 modernizes more than just the special effects. 2 1/2 stars.

Star Slammer (aka Prison Ship) – 1988 (R)

Netflix says: When she rejects the advances of a corrupt government official, Taura (Sandy Brooke) is unjustly incarcerated aboard a prison ship known as the Star Slammer, where she's subjected to hard labor, maniacal guards and bloodthirsty inmates in this campy sci-fi flick. Before long, Taura earns the trust of her fellow cellmates and organizes an elaborate plan for escape. This hilarious B movie is directed by Fred Olen Ray.

Matt says: A requested review from my friend Todd (check out his bands in the Richmond, VA area: Modern Groove Syndicate and The New Belgians). Todd knows that crap B-movie sci-fi/fantasy tit flicks are a guilty pleasure of mine. When he suggested this (one I hadn’t seen before), I was compelled to check it out. Crap B-movie sci-fi/fantasy flick it is, though it’s unfortunately light on the tits. Amazingly, it has halfway decent special effects for an 80s low budget. Sure, they’re not above a Buck Rogers episode from the 70s, but I’ve seen worse in legitimate 80s movies (“Meatballs 2”, “Mac and Me”, and “Ghoulies” come to mind). Don’t get me wrong, it’s bad… really bad. One of the more amusing aspects is that it’s broken up into “chapters”, which seems pretty pretentious for what’s basically a female women’s prison exploitation flick in space. The acting is horrible and the plot is thin at best. Still, I have a special place in my heart for women with 80s perms (perms in prison?), augment free breasts, and short shorts hiked up to their ribcage. And there’s midgets! These movies are still being made, but they lack some of the charm of the 80s flicks (see the films of Seduction Cinema if you really want to see some). In the 80s, the home video market made distribution accessible to low budget filmmakers, though they still needed a bit of capital to accomplish it. Therefore, the films had somewhat of a production value. Now, anybody with a home video camera, Final Cut Pro, and a DVD burner can release their movie to the world. Star Slammer definitely had production value for its budget (including some great rubber monsters and impressive set designs), but only people with a taste for this kind of movie can appreciate it. The lack of gratuitous nudity makes it not quite worth a late night Cinemax masturbation session, but it’s good for a Saturday afternoon time waster. 2 1/2 stars.

Pandorum – 2009 (R)

Netflix says: Upon rousing themselves from hyper-sleep, Payton (Dennis Quaid) and Bower (Ben Foster), a pair of crewmen assigned to work on a spacecraft, discover startling gaps in their collective memory -- including who they are and what, exactly, their mission was in the first place. The plot thickens when they realize they're not the only ones on board the ship. Cam Gigandet co-stars in this gripping sci-fi thriller

Marc says: Pandorum marries the vicious cave monster attacks from The Descent to a tale of space madness liberally inspired by the likes of Event Horizon and Sunshine. Ben Foster delivers a better level of acting than expected, while the usually dependable Dennis Quaid turns in a rather boring performance as his fellow astronaut and commanding officer. The science fiction elements range from just OK to great, with the design of the generational interplanetary colonization starship being the most standout. On the other hand, the monster attacks are just a step away from GWAR level theatrics. Overall, a mixed bag, but there were enough positives to keep me modestly entertained. 3 stars

Matt says: Starts out with a good premise and mysteries abound, but then it turns into a typical “run from the monsters” horror movie. Most of the set design, plot, and creature designs are borrowed heavily from other movies, and even video games, so don’t expect much original content. The mishmash of ideas convolute the story to the point where the viewer feels a little cheated and just doesn’t give a shit by the time it’s over. Still, it could’ve been much worse and was entertaining enough for a once through. It would have been a lot better if they just picked one element and stuck with it. I could say more, but Marc’s review wraps it up nicely. 3 stars.