Movie Review Sunday

Hugo – 2011 (PG)

Netflix says: When his father dies, 12-year-old orphan Hugo takes up residence behind the walls of a Parisian train station. There, he meets Isabelle, the daughter of filmmaker Georges Méliès, who holds the key to Hugo's destiny.

Matt says: As I mentioned in my Oscar round-up, “Hugo” won all the technical awards at the Oscars… which usually means it’s usually the hidden gem of that year (and the movie you really should see). Now that I’ve seen it, do I agree with that statement? Well, in a way. After seeing it, I feel that I didn’t see it in its intended format. Scorsese intentionally filmed “Hugo” in 3D. Normally that would be a gimmick for a film and a way to raise the ticket price, but for “Hugo” there was no feeling of it being shot for gimmicky 3D effects. In fact, after seeing it, I believe that filming it in 3D was essential to the film’s central message. “Hugo” is Scorsese’s love letter to film. It’s about the lost films of yesteryear, the progress of film making, how effects matured through time, and how easily things can be lost if not preserved. It sounds kind of stiff, but it’s not… it is a kid friendly movie after all. 3D can be the next evolution of film if used maturely and with purpose and Scorsese intended “Hugo” to be an example of that. Therefore, I can’t fully judge the full experience. For a non-3D home viewing experience, I would say “Hugo” is a very fine film. It has all the above messages, but with a child-like wonder of mystery and adventure. It is a very beautiful film with excellent performances and fun, touching story. I did enjoy it, but when it was finished I wished I had seen it in 3D. Children won’t mind the lack of 3D, and the messages aren’t sullied without it, so it will still be a good  experience for the whole family. 4 stars.

Immortals – 2011 (R)

Netflix says: In Ancient Greece, King Hyperion searches for a powerful weapon that will free the bloodthirsty Titans and enable them to overpower the gods and enslave mankind. Unable to interfere directly, the gods choose a champion to defend them: Theseus.

Matt says: I had no desire to see this until I found out it was directed by the visionary Tarsem Singh. Tarsem’s movies may be nothing special in plot or acting, but the production, art design, and wardrobe are 100% dreamy spectacle. Frames from “The Cell” and the “The Fall” could easily be hung as artwork and I get a tingle at the back of my skull at certain scenes. I adore when he has the freedom to explore his creativity. “Immortals” feels like Tarsem was being restrained at every turn. There are moments of beauty, but they get muddled by darkness and excessive CGI. The plot and acting are pretty average as usual for his films, but without the stunning beauty, that makes it rather generic. It’s a shame because even with their faults, his previous movies are worth at least a few viewings just for artistic awe. I won’t be watching “Immortals” again. Holy shit, his next movie is “Mirror, Mirror”??!?! Ugh… Anyway, rent “The Fall” for Tarsem at his best. “Immortals” gets 2 1/2 stars.

Puss In Boots – 2011 (PG)

Netflix says: Voiced by Antonio Banderas, the dauntless feline of legend goes on an animated adventure to purloin a priceless golden-egg-laying goose. To help him on his mission, Puss brings along his friends Humpty Dumpty and the super-stealthy Kitty Softpaws.

Matt says: The “Shrek” movies went from decent and fun to awful cash cow pretty quickly. When I heard they were spinning off Puss into his own film, I groaned to myself. It wasn’t until a friend saw it and told me that it was worth a watch did I check it out. And, you know what, it was pretty good. “Puss In Boots” takes the Shrek universe back to its roots. Sure, it still recycles some of the things that we found funny about the character in the Shrek movies, but gone is the gross out humor, tired characters, and annoying babies… and the movie couldn’t be better for it. The story is a little generic, but it is a children’s movie. The voice acting is great, the characters are cute, and it is simple enough to not be weighed down by its own reputation. As a bonus, cat owners will pick up on a few more intricacies than someone who has never owned one. “Puss In Boots”, aside from a little sexual innuendo, has nothing parents should be cautious about. So, grab the rug rats and pop the corn, it’s family movie night! 4 stars.

John Carter (aka John Carter of Mars) – 2012 (PG-13)

Netflix says: One minute, dozing Civil War veteran John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is evading Apaches in a deserted cave. The next, he's waking up on Mars, a once-Earthlike planet that's devolved into chaos -- and civil war of a different sort. Based on Edgar Rice Burroughs's classic "Barsoom Series," this sci-fi adventure finds Carter coming to the aid of Martian princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) and pitching in to help protect the planet.

Matt says: Edgar Rice Burroughs is more famous for his “Tarzan” books than his “John Carter” stories. In fact, I hadn’t heard of John Carter before this movie was released. I also was a little apprehensive about seeing it as it got horrible reviews. Yet, classic Science Fiction/Adventure has a special place in my heart and I was compelled. Boy was I pleasantly surprised! “John Carter” is a better than decent movie that got an unnecessary bad rap by reviewers. As a matter of fact, it parallels one of my favorite movies of all time, “Flash Gordon”. Both have an Earthling torn from the planet and taken to a foreign world, both have that character team up with odd aliens to take on an evil leader, and both have a tough, yet sexy female lead. There are more similarities than those, but it’s easier to focus on what keeps “John Carter” from being as excellent as “Gordon”. First is the lack of a decent musical soundtrack (you just can’t beat Queen’s soundtrack in “Flash Gordon”). Second, is that it’s lacking the tongue-in-cheek humor of “Gordon”. It was much more violent than I expected, too. At one point, Carter is literally chest deep of the corpses of aliens he killed. There’s also a scene where he busts through an animal’s back covered head-to-toe in its blood and another scene where he beheads a baddie. Since all the aliens’ blood is blue, “Carter” got to retain a PG-13 rating (just as Tarantino was able to retain an R rating by turning the big ending battle in “Kill Bill: Volume 1” black and white). I think maybe because it’s a Disney movie, people were expecting something lighter… I am glad the makers had the balls to not water it down to keep an image. 4 stars.

Clash of the Titans – 1981 (PG)

Netflix says: This epic mythological adventure stars Harry Hamlin as Perseus, son of Zeus (Laurence Olivier), who embarks on a series of perilous quests in the hopes of rescuing Princess Andromeda (Judi Bowker) and winning the keys to the kingdom of Joppa. With winged horse Pegasus as his steed, Perseus must answer vexing riddles, capture the head of Medusa and slay a ravenous sea monster. Burgess Meredith and Ursula Andress co-star in this classic tale.

Matt says: An “Art of Cult” request by Cynthia Brown.

I have already mentioned a little bit about this in my “Clash of the Titans (2010)” review. But, you know, that was from memory. It had actually been years and years since I watched the original “classic” (the word “classic” will be applied here for several reasons, but keep in mind that it is not a synonym of “excellent”). The 1981 “Clash of the Titans” is a classic in that it a) is over 25 years old b) has several award winning actors c) has an award winning special effects artist attached to it and d) anyone who grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s will have fond memories of it. Loosely based on Greek mythology, “Clash of the Titans” follows Perseus’ journey to save Andromeda from the Cetus (which is called the Kraken in this). His journeys take him to the Graeae for assistance in reaching the Gorgons and ultimately retrieve the head of Medusa. This adaptation makes it a little more child friendly with the inclusion of a clockwork owl and fun, adventurous music. Yet, at its core, it is a better (if not still flawed) adaption than I remember it to be. As an exciting adventure movie for your pre/early teen, I think it still holds up pretty well, even if the Claymation and blue screen effects are obsolete in comparison to today’s green screen and CGI. I enjoyed this much more than the modern remake that had disappointingly sucked the fun right out of my eye sockets. The nightmare inducing Claymation Medusa (at least for me when I was 8 years old) and Hamlin’s “Jim Morrison” hair gets a fond 4 stars.

Back to the Future Part III – 1990 (PG)

Netflix says: The final installment of the Back to the Future trilogy finds Marty (Michael J. Fox) digging the trusty DeLorean out of a mineshaft and looking up Doc (Christopher Lloyd) in the Wild West of 1885. But when their time machine breaks down, the travelers are stranded in a land of spurs. More problems arise when Doc falls for pretty schoolteacher Clara Clayton (Mary Steenburgen), and Marty tangles with Buford Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson).

Matt says: The weakest film in the trilogy should only be watched for closure on the series. Part II ends on a cliff-hanger and, since this was filmed roughly around the same time, Part III is necessary to wrap things up. Throughout the film Doc keeps mentioning what a huge mistake it was to make the time machine and how, when it’s all said and done, it will be destroyed. (Spoiler Alert) When it finally is, we find that Doc has made another one and is taking his family around changing history wherever he sees fit. I know the first and second movies pretty much gave suspension of disbelief a vacation, but Part III just throws it all out the window. Anyway, it’s mostly a western with Fox playing the fish out of water routine again, but this time everything feels over done. Not the greatest way to wrap up the trilogy, but still a must for fans of the first two. 3 stars.

Back to the Future Part II – 1989 (PG)

Netflix says: Marty (Michael J. Fox) and Doc (Christopher Lloyd) are at it again in this wacky sequel to the 1985 blockbuster as the time-traveling duo head to 2015 to nip some McFly family woes in the bud. But things go awry thanks to bully Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) and a pesky sports almanac. In a last-ditch attempt to set things straight, Marty finds himself bound for 1955 and face to face with his teenage parents -- again.

Matt says: Even though it’s vision of the future is completely skewed (really, faxes will be the way to communicate in 2015?), and the time travel is as flawed as the first, this is the best film in the trilogy. I love the alternate time-lines, jumping back to the events of the first film to have a parallel second set of events performed, and that it is a little bit more on the dark side than the other films. You really need to have seen the first film to fully appreciate it, but as sequels go, it’s one of the rare ones that surpass the first film. 4 1/2 stars.

Back to the Future – 1985 (PG)

Netflix says: In this classic sci-fi adventure from director Robert Zemeckis, eccentric inventor Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) turns a DeLorean into a time machine that inadvertently sends his young friend, Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), 30 years into the past. While stuck in the 1950s, Marty disrupts his parents' destiny and risks throwing the time-space continuum completely out of whack. The only way back to 1985 now is to get mom and dad to pucker up.

Matt says: The original “Back to the Future” is a solid, entertaining, adventurous film. The time travel elements are there, but take a back seat to Fox’s “fish out of water” adventures in the 1950s. It’s really difficult to make any sort of time travel movie without a couple of paradoxes, so “Back to the Future” says “screw it” at the end and forces you to accept that, yeah, that’s what happened and the parents still had the same kids and Fox still has the same relationships as before time is skewed and you whipper-snappers better just shut up and believe it! It gets ridiculously tense at the climax, so much so that it become laughable, but I think that’s all part of the fun. Aside from a few curse words, there’s really not much keeping the whole family from enjoying it. It also holds up surprisingly well for being 27 years old. 4 stars.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Director Jalmari Helander expands his award-winning shorts for this unusual Christmas story set in the frozen beauty of Finland, where local reindeer herders race against the clock to capture an ancient evil: Santa Claus. Single father Rauno (Jorma Tommila) and his young son, Pietari (Onni Tommila), are caught up in the chaos as international scientists dig for artifacts. What they find endangers the entire village.

Matt says: Every culture has their take on Santa Claus. Some times he’s our jolly, fat, bearded Claus, sometimes he has a companion that requires adults to dress in black face, and sometimes he’s a bit naughty himself. Did you know that the Santa’s elves were originally demons called tomtin that dragged children to a torturous Christian inquisition? Yeah… pagan roots perverted by Christianity, folks. “Rare Exports” wonders “What if Santa himself was actually a creature?” It’s a short, sweet love letter to Christmas, horror flicks, and the absurd. There’s many of the Santa symbols: the sack for presents, the red outfit, gingerbread, etc… all with a bit of a sinister edge. That being said, it’s rated R for a reason (mostly old man cock… don’t ask). I love the originality behind “Rare Exports” and thought that is was alright for a low budget foreign flick. It’s missing a good climax, but aside from that, it was enjoyable with a satisfying ending. Now, normally I’m a purest when it comes to original soundtracks and subtitles, but with this I actually think it would actually benefit from a bad dubbing. There’s already English in it, but the bulk is in distracting Finnish with subtitles. Look… this isn’t high art by any means. Let’s cut the distractions and amp up the fun by overdubbing the 12 year old with a 54 year old woman and call it a flick. If you leave this movie with anything, it’s that you won’t look at a mall Santa ever the same after. If you do rent this, make sure to check out the original shorts after (not before, as they will ruin the movie) as they are somewhat better than the film itself… even if they too have old man cock. 3 1/2 stars.

Your Highness – 2011 (NR)

Netflix says: When a twisted wizard kidnaps the virginal fiancée of a valiant prince, his ne'er-do-well brother grudgingly joins his sibling on a quest to save the beautiful damsel. Along the way, the duo meets their match in the form of a fetching female warrior.

Matt says: It’s hard to find good fantasy movies these days. The only adult oriented fantasy movies I could think of that have even just come out in the past few years have been not very good. “Your Highness” exceeded my expectations. It’s a solid fantasy movie with enough humor to make it fun. Before this, Danny McBride played supporting roles to other comedians. In this (in which he also wrote), he shines as the slacker brother to a hero prince and shows that he too has star power. He seems to channel a “Big Trouble in Little China” Kurt Russell in this role. Franco plays the same “sleepy self” personality that he plays in real life and is the weakest part of the film. The big surprise is Portman… as in, “How the hell did they get Natalie Portman for this?”. She is absolutely stunning and absorbs the screen whenever she’s on it. As for the movie, it’s funny, adventurous, and crude… just how I like it. It never grossed me out, but it does push the levels of taste. Where something like, oh, say, any Adam Sandler movie pelts the audience with unnecessary fart and pee jokes, “Highness” only pulls out the dick jokes when they can take you off guard for a good hearty chuckle. Much like “Krod Mandoon”, “Your Highness” effectively blends fantasy and humor, without sacrificing either. I saw the unrated version, so I can’t really comment on the theatrical release, but there was some f-bombs that could’ve been cut. They just failed at hitting the humor mark. Others, though, happen right on comedic timing and will illicit a smile. It’s a shame this didn’t do better in theaters as films like this aren’t made often enough. 4 stars.

Jumanji – 1995 (PG)

Netflix says: When siblings Judy (Kirsten Dunst) and Peter (Bradley Pierce) discover an enchanted board game that opens the door to a magical world, they unwittingly invite Alan (Robin Williams) -- an adult who's been trapped inside the game for 26 years -- into their living room. Alan's only hope for freedom is to finish the game, which proves risky as all three find themselves running from giant rhinoceroses, evil monkeys and other terrifying creatures.

Matt says: Oh, Robin Williams… how the late 80s/early 90s was your time. Williams seemed to be fading already by the time this was made, but he still brings his “man-child on supercool” self to the table. At the time, this was at the top of the CGI effects films for the year. Now, it is almost like watching a mid-1960s special effects laden movie in the early 1980s… it just doesn’t hold up. “Jurassic Park”, “Terminator 2”, and other CGI films in the 90s hid the poor effects masking with strobe lights and night shots. “Jumanji” had the balls to bring it all out in the open daylight and the poor CGI matting looks like the land speeder in the original cut of “Star Wars” (skip to 2:08) because of it. Effects aside, it’s kind of a fun movie. It does capture the feeling of adventure and excitement that is closer to a “Goonies” than a “Spy Kids”. It has some stuff that will disturb younger children, but if your slightly older kids can look past the shitty effects, they may find a little fantasy escapement there. 3 stars.

Conan The Barbarian – 2011 (R)

Netflix says: Based on the pulp fiction of Robert E. Howard, this action-driven adventure breathes new life into the story of Conan the Barbarian, a warrior who rises to defend the people of Hyboria after evil forces slaughter his family and fellow villagers.

Matt says: Mediocre stab at the classic Howard series softens Conan to an almost Kevin Sorbo as “Hercules” level. Conan in the original stories helped others only when it also benefited himself and really just wanted to be the fuck alone. It was a raw adolescent male fantasy of brutality, monsters, and bad-assness. In this, he seems to have found morals and the movie suffers for it. It also spends too much time on his origin, which was only mentioned in the stories in passing. Yet, there was a good amount of topless women and violence, so it’s hard to hate it. I would put this one step above one of those 3rd rate Italian sword and sorcery stabs… good, but for all the wrong reasons. It seems to have been influenced more from “The Savage Sword of Conan” comics than any Howard tale and I truly believe it should’ve been named that instead of “Conan The Barbarian”. What’s his name from that TV show did a good job as Conan, but the original 80s film with Schwarzenegger was closer to, more brutal than, and better produced than any other adaptation…  and, Schwarzenegger was Conan; his performance will never be topped. I would recommend skipping this and watching that instead. 2 1/2 stars.

Red Riding Hood – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In this horror-fantasy reimagining of the classic tale, young Valerie juggles a difficult romantic decision with feelings of fear and grief as her town is terrorized by a legendary werewolf, which has killed her sister and hungers to feast again.

Matt says: Fuck Twilight! You know why? Look at the cover of this… look familiar? Remove the red cloak from the main protagonist and you have the cover to every Twilight movie. The last thing we need is more poorly written tween supernatural stories with pale emos getting all angsty. It’s dampened the laps of many a middle aged woman and their daughters enough so that it’s become a lucrative money machine genre for Hollywood. Churning out a Twilight clone (directed by the director of Twilight, no less), Hollywood expanded a fairy tale that didn’t need expanding into a movie that didn’t need to be made. Sad pretty boys and girls brood over their overpowering emotions while there’s something about a werewolf or something. The saving grace is Gary Oldman playing a total dickhead with the grace and power he brings to every role, even if he knows it’s a piece of shit film. Then blah blah, love triangle, blah blah, angst, blah blah, no one understands me, blah blah blah. 2 stars.

Clash of the Titans – 2010 (PG-13)

Netflix says: If he is to save the life of the beautiful Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), the valiant Perseus (Sam Worthington) -- born to a god but raised as a man -- must lead a team of intrepid warriors on a quest to battle a host of powerful, beastly enemies. This sweeping fantasy epic, a remake of the 1981 hit, also stars Liam Neeson as Zeus, Ralph Fiennes as Hades, Danny Huston as Poseidon and Gemma Arterton as Io.

Matt says: Look, the original “Clash of the Titans” was no great film, but before the Hollywood machine churned out 18 movies a month, it was refreshing to have a semi-decent fantasy film based (loosely) on Greek mythology in the few movies we kids got. Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion effects were dated, but beautiful. Everything had an esthetic that appealed to the children of the time… it frightened, excited, and entertained. The new “Clash of the Titans” is a cash-in on the original and not a very good one. Sure it’s exciting and has decent CGI (I didn’t see it with the horrible 3D it got panned for), but it feels generic. It’s amped up excitement that caters to the ADD youth of today. I feel like a grumpy old man, but it’s the truth. All the depth and character development was stripped, making it a long CGI video game cut scene. Like I said, the original is crap, but it’s enjoyable crap. This remake is crap, but it’s the kind you want to scoop into a plastic bag and dispose of. 2 stars.

Sucker Punch – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In this mind-warping action thriller, Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a girl slated for lobotomy in a 1950s-era asylum, leads a group of young female inmates in an attempt to escape both their mental fantasy worlds and the actual institution where they are prisoners. To accomplish her plan, Baby Doll must steal five objects -- but is the man who's trying to stop her real, or a figment of her imagination? Zack Snyder (Watchmen) directs.

Matt says: Zack Snyder has a very unique visual style that I adore, but he also loves slow motion, which I don’t. It isn’t bad in small doses, yet Snyder overuses it much too often. Therefore, each time I watch one of his movies I am equally enamored and agitated. Just as “300” was a lover letter to Frank Miller and “Watchmen” was a love letter to Alan Moore (even though Moore was against it from the get-go), “Sucker Punch” is a love letter to Japanese manga and anime. Hot, scantily clad young women shoot and samurai sword their way through action sequence after action sequence with a plot as convoluted as most anything from the land of the rising sun. There are giant robots, zombie steam-punk Nazis, dragons, old temples, jet packs, Gatling guns, and thigh-high stockings galore. Sure it is overly depressing, has too much going on for an action flick, and is way too predictable, but it’s still a pretty cool movie. Snyder has a way of capturing the feel of comic books in live action better than anyone else (Nolan is better at character development and themes). If Snyder would have trimmed some of the fat and re-arranged the protagonists’ situations, it would’ve been more enjoyable and I would have given it a better rating. But, because there’s a bunch of needless, emo bullshit to watch between the glorious action, I can’t give this higher than 3 1/2 stars.

Tangled – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: Disney animators take on the classic Grimm Brothers story of Rapunzel (Mandy Moore), a long-locked beauty imprisoned in a secluded tower by evil hag Mother Gothel (Donna Murphy), who needs the rejuvenating powers of Rapunzel's tresses to remain young. When a bandit on the lam (Zachary Levi) helps Rapunzel escape, the old crone plots to recapture her and end her budding romance with the thief in this Golden Globe nominee for Best Animated Feature.

Matt says: Latest installment in Disney’s “princess movies” was much better than I expected it to be. It’s light on anthropomorphic characters, playful in mood, and just a solid, fun movie. Disney took all the best of their traditional animated films and blended them up into “Tangled”. The humor is sharp, the action sequences are thrilling, the romance is sweet, and the doe-eyed cuteness is amped to ridiculously adorable levels. The music is more theater based than the prior few Disney animated films which adds to its charm, though there’s nothing as iconic as “Under the Sea”, “Hakuna Matata” or “Beauty and the Beast”. Everything is put together in a CGI package that modernizes their classical animation while retaining all that was best about it. I must say, I was very impressed and regretted not seeing this in 3D in the theater. For a modern classical Disney film that everybody in the family will enjoy, I’d recommend “Tangled” more than the other CGI films I’ve seen in the past year or so. In fact, I’d have to say that it’s up in my top five animated Disney movies of all time. 4 1/2 stars.

Tron: Legacy – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: While investigating the mysterious disappearance of his father, Kevin (Jeff Bridges), techie Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund) lands in a beguiling computerized world of enslaved gladiators, where his dad has been living for more than 20 years. Joined by Kevin's trusted friend (Olivia Wilde), the father and son must journey across a breathtaking -- and perilous -- cyberscape in this 21st-century update to the beloved 1982 sci-fi classic.

Matt says: I totally expected to hate this going in to it. The first movie got a less than favorable review from me and I didn’t hear good things about this one. I was pleasantly surprised when it exceeded my expectations. Sure, the acting was as wooden as the first (quite literally when the CGI version of Bridges was on screen) and the story was so-so, but it was full of excitement and great effects. The best thing though was the music by Daft Punk and the whole thing had a very cool visual esthetic to it. Even though it’s a sequel, it sets things up for a new mythology and leaves the ending wide open for a sequel of its own. It was worth checking out in the theater, due to the immersive 3D and excellent sound. Hedlund does a decent job as Flynn’s son, but his character seems a little too perfect. For a 3D movie, it’s a shame the characters turned out so two dimensional. Olivia Wilde was great and looked hot as hell in her skin-tight Tron outfit. I’ve loved her every since her run on “House” and the look they gave her made her even sexier. Bridges was good in his true self, but the CGI “young” Bridges looked like those creepy “The Polar Express” characters. I guess real looking human CGI is not quite a perfect science yet. So, yeah, I had fun with “Tron: Legacy” and enjoyed the experience… big whoop, wanna fight about it?!?! 3 1/2 stars.

Shrek Forever After – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: The fourth chapter of this fractured fairy-tale series finds the lovable green ogre Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) feeling less like a monster and more like a man in the midst of a midlife crisis. But will striking a deal with Rumpelstiltskin make his life better or worse? Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas return as the voices of Princess Fiona, Donkey and Puss in Boots, respectively.

Matt says: ALL YOUR FAVORITE SHREK CHARACTERS ARE BACK! And you know what? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! Look, the first Shrek wasn’t perfect, but it was innovative, entertaining, and had a good message. Sure, the pop culture references and music were a little contrived, but they didn’t sully the fun nature and fantasy. The second Shrek was mediocre, but still enjoyable; new characters were introduced and the story felt like an extension of the first. Then the third came along. Characters were recycled and Shrek officially jumped the shark by adding babies. “Shrek Forever After” feels like the last season of a sitcom that should been canceled years ago. It steals the plot of “It’s A Wonderful Life”, the reoccurring characters have become tired and reflections of the original creations they once were, and it’s just bland. There’s still some funny moments, but you need to slog through the bullshit to get to them. I’m glad this is the final entry to the series as I really don’t want to see Shrek win the lottery, adopt a cousin, or literally jump a fucking shark. 2 stars for the few chuckles I got from it.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: While Horvath (Alfred Molina) and Drake (Toby Kebbell) plot to restore Morgana Le Fay (Alice Krige) to power, master sorcerer Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) makes physics student Dave Stutle (Jay Baruchel) his apprentice, teaching him enough magic to save the world from sure ruin. Also featuring Monica Bellucci, Teresa Palmer and Toby Kebbell, this whimsical fantasy is a live-action update of the beloved animated short from the 1940s, "Fantasia."

Matt says: How this is in any way related to the “Fantasia” short aside from the title and a bastardized version of the “magic mop” scene is beyond me. “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is an easily forgettable cash in that tries to jump on the “misunderstood kid who’s really a great wizard” gravy train only to fail at producing anything more than a mediocre carbon copy of better films. I’m not a big fan of Jay Baruchel… there’s something about his voice that bugs me. Though it was easily ignored in “How To Train Your Dragon” (do to his character being upstaged by everything else in the movie), in this it’s hard to not tune him out. And Cage. Oh, Cage… you’re such a whore. Every time I see Cage in something with heavy CGI, I know it’s due to the mortgage on his fifth house. Just sell the villa in Tuscany and start making some good movies again, Nicolas! He seems to only be going through the motions in this, and rightly so, because he knows it’s just a paycheck for everybody involved. The biggest disappointment is that there’s just no heart. It’s a generic cookie cutter flick with bland characters and less than adequate CGI. Even at their worst, Disney flicks usually have a little emotion. Nope, this one was a flat out bore. Wizard obsessed youngsters might actually enjoy it somewhat, but I didn’t care for it too much. 2 stars.

Time After Time – 1979 (PG)

Netflix says: Notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper (David Warner) is back to continue his ghastly reign of terror. But this time, he's found his way from Victorian times to the late 1970s, and he's intent on taking care of unfinished business. Using a time machine to pursue Jack into the future, H.G. Wells (Malcolm McDowell) meets Amy (Mary Steenburgen), a bank clerk who teaches Wells about life in the '70s while helping him hunt for Jack.

Matt says: Read the Netflix description, I’ll wait… ok, done? Yeah, it sounds pretty hokey, doesn’t it? A time traveling H.G. Wells hunting down Jack the Ripper in 1970s San Francisco? And if you predicted fish-out-of-water revelations (a moving picture box! horseless carriages! disco!), you’d be right. I have always loved the work of Warner and McDowell and they do a great job with what is essentially a pretty poor concept. It all feels like a mediocre 1960s Star Trek episode without all the Star Trek (after writing this I read up on it and, believe it or not, the writer did write for the original Star Trek series). And yet, somehow this all seems to work. It’s an OK movie, but it’s the performances that keep you engaged. Steenburgen was actually quite a hottie back in the day and plays McDowell’s infatuated, liberated guide well. And, if you’re observant, you’ll catch Corey Feldman in his first film role as “boy at museum”. It’s funny, because knowing his rise to fame in the 80s, you expect him to show up as the annoying kid sidekick. Nope, he’s just “boy at museum”. One line, that’s all he gets. It wouldn’t be until 1985 before he has another live action film role (in “Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter”) that wasn’t “made for TV”. And then, such classics as “Dream a Little Dream” and License to Drive” followed. You know, I haven’t seen “License to Drive” in a while. Remember that scene where they drive uncontrollably down the hill just to screech to a halt in front of the diner? Yeah, that was sweet. Oh, and Heather Graham was so cute back then. I had a major crush on her in that movie. Boy, I’d really like to see it again… I wonder if it’s on Netflix streaming. No, it’s not? Too bad. I guess I’ll have to find a torrent or something… Oh yeah, “Time After Time”. Um… enjoyable enough for a Saturday afternoon time waster. 3 stars.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – 2010 (PG-13)

Netflix says: When dreamy delivery girl Ramona (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) starts popping up in his life, slacker musician Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) takes notice. But to win the love of this rollerblading goddess, Scott must vanquish all seven of her evil exes in martial arts battles. Based on Bryan Lee O'Malley's graphic novels, director Edgar Wright's action-packed romcom also stars Anna Kendrick, Brandon Routh and Chris Evans.

Matt says: Based on a series of graphic novels and full of video game and manga references, “Scott Pilgrim” is understandably loved by purveyors of all things otaku. It’s about a slacker 20-something year old who vies for a girl, which requires him to battle the seven evil exes who want to control the future of her love life. Scott is a dick, but a lovable dick. He’s conceited, uses people, and has the maturity of a 12 year old… but, then again, most J-RPG protagonists act the same, it doesn’t make us empathize any less with their plights. What follows is a hyperactive live action anime peppered with manga style graphics, video game sound effects, and a rockin’ soundtrack. It’s a enjoyable movie, with some solid chuckles and great battle sequences. There’s potential for this to be the modern equivalent of “Big Trouble in Little China”. But, where “Big Trouble” was for the 80s Kung-Fu movie generation, “Scott Pilgrim” is for the 2000s video game generation. Sure, the satire can come on a little heavy handed and it can be too cool for its own good at times, but it’s all fun. Cera is his same soft-spoken awkward self, but that’s what he does best. When it comes time for the fights, he proves he can handle the choreography extremely well. I’ll tell you, if you aren’t a fan of video games, manga, or anime, you probably won’t enjoy this very much. But, for you who have been known to waste an entire Sunday afternoon breading a gold chocobo, have the soundtrack to your favorite Japanese cartoon on your iPod, or have spent over $200 on comics in one shot, this movie is for you. Guilty. To all three. 4 stars.

Circle of Iron – 1978 (R)

Netflix says: David Carradine plays four roles in this epic adventure, including a blind sage who helps Cord the Seeker (Jeff Cooper), a young martial artist who is looking for the all-knowing Zetan (Christopher Lee) so he can get his hands on the priceless Book of Knowledge. Based on a story by the legendary Bruce Lee -- who died before production began -- the film blends Eastern philosophy with classic fight scenes.

Matt says: Mostly shirtless Cord the Seeker hits and kicks his way across a mythological land of trials, introspection, and monkey people to, um, “seek” an ancient manuscript to gain enlightenment. Along the way he learns Asian philosophy from several people, mostly played by David Carradine. The movie's plot feels one half “Beastmaster”, one half “Kung Fu”, and one half every Shaw Brothers movie ever made. Yes, it’s manly enough to have three halves… and although I enjoy a good guy flick, I was a little disappointed by how women were portrayed. The two women who did get any lines were a sex slave in a harem who was crucified and an overbearing, bitchy wife. The story isn’t about them, though, it’s about Cord and his journey. Everything symbolizes something in a dude’s life, even the women’s less than flattering roles, and it’s all about the big question of existence. The Zen themes and philosophical aspects come off as slightly hokey when relayed by crackers with fake “old speak” accents, though the message is there. Maybe it was the budget restraints, but there was something about this that didn’t feel completely polished. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it; it’s got some impressive scenery, Carradine and Christopher Lee, I’m all for something that sparks a journey of self awareness in viewers, and most of all, you can tell the makers really cared about this. Though not quite “Siddhartha”, it’s still a palatable primer for a little Buddhist discovery. 3 stars.

Coraline – 2008 (PG)

Netflix says: In this stop-motion animation Oscar nominee, curious young Coraline (voiced by Dakota Fanning) unlocks a door in her family's home and is transported to a universe that strangely resembles her own -- only better. But when her Other Mother (Teri Hatcher) doesn't want Coraline to return to reality, our heroine must summon an amazing amount of courage to go home and save her family.

Matt says: I originally saw this in 3D in the theater. The 3D was well done and I left very impressed. After seeing it again without the 3D, I have to say that is still a damn fine movie. Based on Neil “Sandman” Gaiman’s novel, and directed by the director of “A Nightmare Before Christmas”, “Coraline” is a perfectly creepy children’s fantasy story. The stop-motion used rivals that of “A Nightmare Before Christmas”, the voice work is excellent, and it’s immersive and (overtly) symbolic… though, it really is creepy. So much, in fact, that I would say it probably deserves a PG-13 rating; younger children might get upset at some of the content. It feels very much like “Alice in Wonderland”: a young girl discovers another land filled with surreal characters and a dark side. In “Coraline”, it’s more of a coping mechanism for Coraline’s  insecurities, want for attention, and a last imaginative adventure before puberty turns her into a resentful shit. On DVD, even the single disc release of this had a red and blue 3D version on the flip side of the DVD. Disappointingly, Netflix only has the rental version, which has the dull “Netflix rental grey” disc art printed on the reverse. I have a pair of red and blues, but I guess they won’t be getting any use any time soon. Still, it’s creative, beautiful, imaginative, and fun. If you have thick-skinned children, they will enjoy it too. 4 solid stars.

Warlock – 1989 (R)

Netflix says: In 17th century Boston, a warlock (Julian Sands) escapes death and magically leaps 300 years into the future, where he searches in Los Angeles for the three parts of the Devil's Bible that will unmake the world. Meanwhile, the witch hunter (Richard E. Grant) who brought him to trial -- aided by one of the warlock's victims (Lori Singer) -- is in hot pursuit to stop his heartless path of violence and foil his destructive plans.

Marc says: Roger Corman produced B-flick features a chick with bad 80’s hair and muscular legs going to toe to toe with a male witch who is seeking to undo all of creation at the behest of the devil. She is aided in this endeavor by a time-traveling witch-hunter whose weapons of choice are a bullwhip and an iron-wrought weathervane! Cheesy monologues regarding various portents of doom abound, and Richard E. Grant delivers them with gusto and a perfectly straight face. In the meantime, Julian Sands shoots cartoon fire out of his hands and flies around like a low powered Superman. Strictly throwaway Saturday matinee stuff, but isn’t that Corman’s forte, after all? 2.5 stars

The Fall – 2006 (R)

Netflix says: Set in the 1920s, director Tarsem Singh's visually lush drama stars Lee Pace as paralyzed movie stuntman Roy Walker, who bonds with an imaginative 5-year-old named Alexandria (Catinca Untaru) as they convalesce together in a Los Angeles infirmary. To coax the girl into procuring the cache of morphine he wants from the hospital pharmacy, the suicidal Roy regales Alexandria with an elaborate fantasy about larger-than-life heroes.

Marc says: Extremely visual film combines sharp colors and intricate costumes with breathtaking vistas, both natural and man-made. The movie consists of two parts: the frame story is set in a 1920’s California hospital while the fantasy segments recreate an aimless fairy-tale told by a paralyzed silent film stuntman. An interesting device is used for the fantasy segments, where the narrative is constantly revised to make up for its contemporaneous delivery. Ultimately, it runs a little long, and the depressing ending is undermined by a cheery epilogue. Nevertheless, it compares well to any number of films that tread the same ground, such as The Adventures of Baron Munchausen or Pan’s Labyrinth. B+

Matt says: 6 years later, Tarsem follows up the disappointing The Cell with an equally visually stunning picture, but this time he gets it right. Striking and touching, though not perfect, well enjoyable. (Capsule Netflix review from 2008)

Alice in Wonderland – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: A 19-year-old Alice (Mia Wasikowska) journeys through Underland, where she experiences strange ordeals and encounters peculiar characters, including the vaporous Cheshire Cat (voiced by Stephen Fry), the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) and the sadistic Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter). Anne Hathaway, Alan Rickman, Matt Lucas and Crispin Glover co-star in director Tim Burton's bold adaptation of the Lewis Carroll classic.

Matt says: As a fan of the original books, I am pretty picky about the adaptations. So far, I haven’t seen one that really does the stories justice. They either deviate from the story too much or have poor production values or exploit the “all star cast” to cartoonish levels. When I heard that Burton was going to do a sequel? reimagining? after the mediocre “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, I knew it would be at least two of the things I’ve mentioned, but backed by fucking Danny Elfman’s same music he recycles for every one of Burton’s movies. To make Alice in Wonderland is to make a waking dream. Like in a dream, things don’t make sense, and your mind questions them, but you accept it as what’s happening. This was devoid of those feelings the books captured so well. In fact, the additions/changes make it feel more like a children’s action movie than a fantasy. I could go on and on about the details, but it would be redundant. 2 expectedly disappointed stars.

The Lovely Bones – 2009 (PG-13)

Netflix says: When 14-year-old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is murdered, she watches from above as her family deals with her tragic death -- and as her killer prepares to strike again. Torn between vengeance and healing, Susie's loved ones are forever changed. Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz star in Peter Jackson's adaptation of Alice Sebold's riveting, best-selling novel; Susan Sarandon and Oscar nominee Stanley Tucci co-star.

Matt says: Starts off with promise, but ends up feeling contrived and forced. I love Peter Jackson and his previous film of this genre, Heavenly Creatures, was brilliant. In The Lovely Bones, he tries to mix genres, adding fantasy into a murder “mystery” (there is no real mystery for the audience, as we are told who the murderer is about 1/3 of the way through the story). It comes off like Kirosawa’s “Dreams” meets “Silence of the Lambs”. They just don’t mix. The way that we are told the events before they unfold from the narrator also sours any sort of tension that the movie could have built. And the ending? A cop-out that couldn’t have been in the book, or if it was, it had to have been handled much better than in the movie. I was highly disappointed by the experience. 2 1/2 stars.

Stalker – 1979 (NR)

Netflix says: This science fiction milestone from director Andrei Tarkovsky takes you into the Zone, a mysterious, guarded realm containing a mystical room in which occupants' secret dreams come true. Stalker, a man able to lead others to this holy grail, escorts a writer and a scientist through this foreboding territory and confronts several unexpected challenges along the way. Based on the Russian sci-fi novel Roadside Picnic.

Marc says: Tarkovsky is an acquired taste. Even then, you have to be in the right frame of mind to watch any of his films. Between this and Solaris (1972), it’s hard to say which moves more slowly or which one is more of a perpetual cocktease. Stalker is defined by long steady takes, nearly pure dialogue driving every scene, and the use of many intriguing industrial and naturalistic locations. Be advised that nothing much happens in this, except for some super heavy meditations on the nature of human existence. The sci-fi premise while interesting, is at the most, just a catalyst for these discussions. Patience is a virtue, but the payoff is all mental – there is no climax, closure, or overriding message to take away. The deliberate ambiguity may be tough to take for many after sitting through 3 hours, so keep this in mind. 4 stars.

Stay Tuned – 1992 (PG)

Netflix says: Couch potato Roy Knable (John Ritter) has entered a new dimension of TV viewing -- the other side of the screen. When Roy sells his soul for the ultimate satellite system, he and his wife, Helen (Pam Dawber), are sucked into the cable version of hell. If they can survive "Driving Over Miss Daisy," "Northern Overxposure," "Robocat" and the rest of the hellish lineup, Roy and Helen can return home. If not, they'll be canceled permanently.

Marc says: One of the last  80’s styled kid oriented sci-fi / fantasy adventure movies; a genre perfected by the likes of The Goonies, Explorers, Flight of the Navigator, et. al. However, even though the narrator is your standard issue 11 year old whiz kid, the focus is much more on the adults in the story, a couple whose marriage is falling apart thanks to Ritter’s excessive TV watching habits (set in this decade a porn addiction would be more likely). In any event, the movie dutifully follows through on its premise, as husband and wife are sucked into the TV and forced to contend with twisted versions (with a Satanic bent, no less!) of television shows popular in the early 90’s. If you’re old enough to remember the TV shows the movie parodies, you might get a chuckle or two out of it, but in 2010, those programs are ancient history. On the plus side, generally well-acted by everyone (except for the homely chick who plays the older sister, ugh), well-directed, and the parodies are typically creative and humorous in spite of being heavily dated. Rated 3 satanic satellite dishes out of 5.

El Espinazo del Diablo (aka The Devil's Backbone) (2001) R

 

Netflix says: Twelve-year-old Carlos (Fernando Tielve) is the latest arrival at Santa Lucia School, an imposing stone building that shelters orphans of the Republican militia and politicians during the last days of the Spanish Civil War. Carlos gradually uncovers the dark ties that bind the inhabitants of the school: hidden riches, sexual intrigue and the restless ghost of a murdered student, who may be the only one to provide resolution.

Matt says: del Toro amazed me with Pan’s Labyrinth, even though it wasn’t what I expected (heavy on the drama, light on the fantasy). Seeing one of his earlier works was a treat. Following some of the same themes (children dealing with trauma, the civilian side of war, greed, and escapism), The Devil’s Backbone feels like a story taking place at the same time but in a different caste. As with Pan’s Labyrinth, the fantasy/supernatural aspects are limited and serve to only enhance the drama. The children are strong in their roles and the direction is top notch. I can’t quite give this 5 stars as some sequences don’t sit quite right, but it does get a well deserved 4 1/2 Stars.

Tideland – 2005 (NR)

Netflix says: With her junkie father (Jeff Bridges) spending most of his time in a stupor mourning the recent death of his wife (Jennifer Tilly), Jeliza-Rose (Jodelle Ferland) is free to roam the surrounding prairie, where she meets a mentally challenged boy (Brendan Fletcher) and his oddly macabre sister (Janet McTeer). Terry Gilliam directs this fantastical drama that evokes the world of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.

Marc says: Gilliam apparently felt the need to introduce this film before the opening credits roll in order to inform the viewer that some people will love this, some people will hate it, and some people won't know what to think. I was just kinda bored. 2 stars.

Day Watch - (NR) 2006

Netflix says: To protect his son, who has come under the dark side's control, Anton (Konstantin Khabensky) seeks an ancient artifact that threatens to upset an uneasy peace with the light side -- putting Moscow at risk for a devastating cataclysm. Anton finds himself in the middle of a mythic conflict between the forces of light and dark in this sequel to Night Watch, the surprise supernatural hit thriller from Russia.

Marc says: Continues to tread in the fine "WTF did I just watch?" tradition of Night Watch wherein Matrix style SFX are combined with a plot involving vampires, immortals, alternate dimensions, body-switching, and magic chalk. Even less coherent than the first movie, I nonetheless found myself enthralled by the impressive special effects and the "everything plus the kitchen sink" approach. Solid B.

The Orphanage – 2007 (R)

Netflix says: Fueled by fond memories from her childhood, Laura (Belén Rueda) persuades her husband (Fernando Cayo) to help her revamp a seaside orphanage into a facility for disabled children. But soon after the couple moves in, their son, Simón (Roger Príncep), begins exhibiting disturbing behavior. As Laura tries to understand Simón's increasingly malevolent actions, she becomes drawn into the house's terrifying secrets in this unnerving chiller.

Marc says: Spooky ass ghost story delivers some effective chills along with a slice of aw-shucks sentimentality towards the end. It continues to amaze me that The Changeling (1980) can be so overlooked and yet continue to provide fuel for any number of modern spook flicks such as this. (See The Ring for yet another example). Rated 4 cadaverous child specters out of 5.