Movie Review Sunday

Safe – 2012 (R)

Netflix says: A onetime secret agent comes to the aid of a 12-year-old girl held captive by ruthless Triad gangsters. Before the rescue is over, the pair will go up against not only her abductors, but also the Russian Mafia and a bunch of corrupt New York cops.

Matt says: Jason Statham is good at being a bad-ass and his movies are consistently entertaining. But, as we become more and more accustom to the flow of his films, the more immortal he becomes in them. He went from a realistic action star (Bruce Wills in “Die Hard”), to an over-the top cartoon (the “Crank” films), to an action hero that practically sleep-walks through his fights (my friend likened it to the later straight-to-DVD films of Steven Segal). In “Safe” his plays the “man on the edge” who is brought back from suicide by the panicked look of an 11 year old Chinese girl. The girl has something that the Russian and Chinese mafias want, as well as the NYPD, and Statham sees protecting her as redemption for past indiscretions. It was fun seeing a NY film that was filmed on location… often I will see film that supposedly taking place in NY, but they get everything all wrong. The film is pretty A-typical for the genre, but it was enjoyable. There are better Statham films out there, and I have a feeling this one will silently slip away into the obscurity in their shadows, but it was still a decent watch. 3 stars.

The Avengers – 2012 (PG-13)

Netflix says: An all-star lineup of superheroes -- including Iron Man, the Incredible Hulk and Captain America -- team up to save the world from certain doom. Working under the authority of S.H.I.E.L.D., can our heroes keep the planet at peace?

Matt says: Wow! Wowee wow wow wow! I went into “The Avengers” with high hopes (I had read several reviews that gushed over the film), but I still needed to see it for myself before judging… I have been burned before. Walking out after the meaty 2:20 run time, I not only felt that it was more than worth the seventeen dollar NYC ticket price for a 3D film, but that I was involved in the events of the film in some way. Yes, I got totally absorbed into the film. I have said before that Joss Whedon is the ultimate fan-boy, and it still holds true here. I have never seen a movie that fully captures the experience of a thirteen year old reading a comic book as I did with this film… and that’s a good, good thing. I remember laying on my bed with the latest X-Men or Fantastic Four comic in the mid-80s, being totally and fully engrossed in the 2 dimensional story-line and melodrama of the cheap pulp. There was macho bravado, poor attempts at humor (that actually work), women in skin tight outfits, and other pubescent trappings. Yet, there was also life lessons and chivalry beneath the soap opera story-lines. It may not be high art, but it is highly entertaining. Whedon not only made an excellent super hero film, but he also did it so perfectly that it actually is a comic book come alive. And, don’t get me started on the cast’s dynamic chemistry or that the film is significantly enhanced by viewings of the character’s solo films. “The Avengers” feels like the culmination of a four year/four film build-up… they didn’t know what they were going to do at the time, but Whedon solved that problem with experience and grace. Don’t expect a life changing or deep film here, but do expect a fucking great time. The Hulk stole the show (with Downey Jr.’s Iron Man taking a close second), but everyone did their parts to make this a total and utter blast. The 3D may have been done in post, and it was a little dark because of it, but it didn’t make the film any less entertaining. I recommend seeing this on the big screen as it’s the epitome of a perfect summer blockbuster. 5 stars.

You Only Live Twice – 1967 (PG)

Netflix says: After American and Soviet spaceships disappear, the two countries trade blame for the incidents -- and as the nations edge toward war, James Bond is tasked with getting to the bottom of another international mystery.

Matt says: “You Only Live Twice” was the only James Bond book that I ever read. I just saw it discounted at The Strand and thought “What the hell?”. I enjoyed how pulpy it was and picking out all the flaws Fleming made with the Japanese language. I had never seen the movie and honestly didn’t know it existed. When I found out there was a movie I thought “What the hell?” and rented it. It’s vastly different than the book, but it is also the basis of many, many parodies, from Austin Powers to The Simpsons to much more. The only thing retained from the novel is that it takes place in Japan, it has Blofeld as the enemy, and that at one point James becomes Japanese in order to go under cover. Yes, in both, he has his skin died with lemon, hair changed black with a bowl cut, and eyes slanted. It’s pretty offensive and unnecessary, but it makes for some fine retro stereotype racism. I’ll tell you, the set pieces in this were very impressive, the action on par with earlier Bond flicks, and they actually have Japanese people speaking true Japanese. Connery kind of sleep walks through it, but he still emits macho goodness. The plot could’ve been more mysterious, it could’ve had more gadgets, and it all is a little far fetched (but isn’t that what a Bond movie is all about?). I enjoyed it on a cheesy level as it’s not close to being the best Bond film… yet, it’s not close to the worst ones either. 3 1/2 stars.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Super-agent Ethan Hunt dangles from skyscrapers and otherwise takes daring to new heights on another operation from the Impossible Missions Force. Helping Hunt get the job done is droll fellow IMF agent Luther Stickel.

Matt says: MI:GP is the forth entry into the Mission Impossible movies and, while I’ve seen all three, it was the only one I actually paid full attention to since the first (I had the others on as background noise while doing something else). Just like from what I saw of the other three, it’s a typical spy actioner with tense spy moments, chase scenes, outrageous stunts, and lots of guns a-blazing. Everything is tightly made and it definitely has its thrills. Most impressively is Cruise, who again does all of his own stunts (including hanging outside of the tallest building in the world in Dubai). MI:GP keeps its end of the summer blockbuster bargain, offing an engineered script straight from “How to write and action movie”. The only thing that was missing was the romantic/sexual tension aspect, but they replaced it with a tough-as-nails female, so it doesn’t feel all that lacking. It’s a very generic experience, but a fun one. 3 1/2 stars.

Hugo – 2011 (PG)

Netflix says: When his father dies, 12-year-old orphan Hugo takes up residence behind the walls of a Parisian train station. There, he meets Isabelle, the daughter of filmmaker Georges Méliès, who holds the key to Hugo's destiny.

Matt says: As I mentioned in my Oscar round-up, “Hugo” won all the technical awards at the Oscars… which usually means it’s usually the hidden gem of that year (and the movie you really should see). Now that I’ve seen it, do I agree with that statement? Well, in a way. After seeing it, I feel that I didn’t see it in its intended format. Scorsese intentionally filmed “Hugo” in 3D. Normally that would be a gimmick for a film and a way to raise the ticket price, but for “Hugo” there was no feeling of it being shot for gimmicky 3D effects. In fact, after seeing it, I believe that filming it in 3D was essential to the film’s central message. “Hugo” is Scorsese’s love letter to film. It’s about the lost films of yesteryear, the progress of film making, how effects matured through time, and how easily things can be lost if not preserved. It sounds kind of stiff, but it’s not… it is a kid friendly movie after all. 3D can be the next evolution of film if used maturely and with purpose and Scorsese intended “Hugo” to be an example of that. Therefore, I can’t fully judge the full experience. For a non-3D home viewing experience, I would say “Hugo” is a very fine film. It has all the above messages, but with a child-like wonder of mystery and adventure. It is a very beautiful film with excellent performances and fun, touching story. I did enjoy it, but when it was finished I wished I had seen it in 3D. Children won’t mind the lack of 3D, and the messages aren’t sullied without it, so it will still be a good  experience for the whole family. 4 stars.

Lethal Ninja (aka For Hire) – 1991 (NR)

Netflix says: Assigned to purge Chinatown of ruthless gangs, sword-wielding mercenary J.D. McCade (David Heavener) faces a tough personal dilemma in this action-packed film. After realizing that the chief of police is reluctant to stop the crime wave, the mayor recruits McCade to go after the gangsters. McCade sets out to bring peace to the community but must set aside his personal feelings when he discovers a childhood friend working for a crime boss.

Matt says: As promised when I reviewed “Outlaw Force”… here’s a David Heavener film that is available on Netflix. And, just like “Outlaw Force”, it’s a big, steaming pile of enjoyable shit. It wasn’t written and directed by Heavener, but I would say those involved have the same amount of filmmaking abilities. Missing is Heavener’s original songs, which I found to be one of the better parts of “Outlaw Force”. Yet, it makes up for it with more outrageous bad guys, even worse choreography, and a relationship with a young male pupil that Heavener seems to enjoy a little bit too much. This was made at the tail end of the bad straight-to-VHS ‘80s era and is a filling nail in the genre coffin. If you like this kind of film, you will be as amused as I was. Look for some key moments: the boom mike at the birthday party, the song they made up at said party so they wouldn’t have to pay royalties for “Happy Birthday”, the mannequin like acting abilities of (and god-awful song sung by) the mayor’s adopted daughter, the impromptu freeze-then-kata scene with the baddies, Heavener’s ninja attacks from nowhere, the grave-side funeral, and the complete lack of martial arts training for any cast member. I could go on, but this must be seen to be believed. Another 1 1/2 star movie worth 4 stars of fun.

Outlaw Force – 1988 (R)

This never made it to DVD so Netflix doesn’t have it. IMDB says: Some punks go into a small town and start hassling the gas station owner; Billy Ray Dalton a friend of the owner pulls a shot gun on them and tells them to go away. Later they go back and force the owner to tell them where Dalton lives. Now, Dalton a part time musician's out on a gig, when they go to his house and kill his pregnant wife, and take his daughter. Dalton follows them to try and get his daughter back.

Matt says: Wow. Where to begin? Is it that Frank Stallone and “Bluto” from “Popeye” are partners on the police force? Is it that, while he is at a gig and his wife is getting murdered, David Heavener sings a song about how great it is to “be a family man”? Is it the Parkour scene of Heavener climbing down a steel support cable? Is it the amazingly cheesy dialog and awful soundtrack? Yes. Yes. And more yes. “Outlaw Force” is one of those rare direct-to-VHS gems of the ‘80s that are so bad that they’re great. Everything about this is low budget. Heavener not only stars, but he also wrote and directed it. This is his vision, it’s an urban western “Death Wish” rip off, and Heavener wouldn’t have it any other way. And, damn it, I giggled like a school girl getting tickled by puppy noses through the whole damn thing. This took me back to being 12 years old and having my friends over for a sleep over to watch late night Cinemax crap. It’s light on the language and nudity, and the violence is restrained by modern standards, but everything combined is just right for a movie like this. Track down a copy, if you can, as it’s a fun crap low budget ‘80s action flick. If not, there are more Heavener films in my line up to review, some of which are available on Netflix, so just wait and I’m sure the rest will be just as good (if not better). A 1 1/2 star film that provides 4 stars of enjoyment!

Immortals – 2011 (R)

Netflix says: In Ancient Greece, King Hyperion searches for a powerful weapon that will free the bloodthirsty Titans and enable them to overpower the gods and enslave mankind. Unable to interfere directly, the gods choose a champion to defend them: Theseus.

Matt says: I had no desire to see this until I found out it was directed by the visionary Tarsem Singh. Tarsem’s movies may be nothing special in plot or acting, but the production, art design, and wardrobe are 100% dreamy spectacle. Frames from “The Cell” and the “The Fall” could easily be hung as artwork and I get a tingle at the back of my skull at certain scenes. I adore when he has the freedom to explore his creativity. “Immortals” feels like Tarsem was being restrained at every turn. There are moments of beauty, but they get muddled by darkness and excessive CGI. The plot and acting are pretty average as usual for his films, but without the stunning beauty, that makes it rather generic. It’s a shame because even with their faults, his previous movies are worth at least a few viewings just for artistic awe. I won’t be watching “Immortals” again. Holy shit, his next movie is “Mirror, Mirror”??!?! Ugh… Anyway, rent “The Fall” for Tarsem at his best. “Immortals” gets 2 1/2 stars.

The Adventures of Tin Tin – 2011 (PG)

Netflix says: Blockbuster filmmakers Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson team up for this 3-D motion capture adaptation of Georges Remi's classic comic strip, centered around the adventures of fearless young journalist Tintin (Jamie Bell) and his trusty dog, Snowy. Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Andy Serkis, Nick Frost, Toby Jones, Mackenzie Crook and Cary Elwes also lend their talents to this action-packed family adventure.

Matt says: It’s no secret that both Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson were influenced by the films, serials, and comics of the 30s and 40s. Both have paid their homages in the forms of the Indiana Jones series and the King Kong remake, as well as having their hands in others. Before Saturday morning cartoons saturated the airwaves, kids would have to catch the rare cartoon at the theater or read comic books. “Tin Tin” was one of the more adventurous comics, first starting as strips and later compiled in books. The movie feels a bit dated, even with modern writers (the new “Doctor Who” and “Sherlock” guru Stephen Moffat being a surprising addition) and with expensive looking CGI. Also, the motion capture and ultra realistic character art has yet to come off as not creepy (but, it’s still not as bad as the soul stealing art of “The Polar Express”). Yet, it’s still a fun actioner that harkens back a time where Spielberg was just a big kid with an open wallet. A fun time for the whole family? Sure. Just be prepared to talk to the kids about alcoholism. 3 1/2 stars.

John Carter (aka John Carter of Mars) – 2012 (PG-13)

Netflix says: One minute, dozing Civil War veteran John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is evading Apaches in a deserted cave. The next, he's waking up on Mars, a once-Earthlike planet that's devolved into chaos -- and civil war of a different sort. Based on Edgar Rice Burroughs's classic "Barsoom Series," this sci-fi adventure finds Carter coming to the aid of Martian princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) and pitching in to help protect the planet.

Matt says: Edgar Rice Burroughs is more famous for his “Tarzan” books than his “John Carter” stories. In fact, I hadn’t heard of John Carter before this movie was released. I also was a little apprehensive about seeing it as it got horrible reviews. Yet, classic Science Fiction/Adventure has a special place in my heart and I was compelled. Boy was I pleasantly surprised! “John Carter” is a better than decent movie that got an unnecessary bad rap by reviewers. As a matter of fact, it parallels one of my favorite movies of all time, “Flash Gordon”. Both have an Earthling torn from the planet and taken to a foreign world, both have that character team up with odd aliens to take on an evil leader, and both have a tough, yet sexy female lead. There are more similarities than those, but it’s easier to focus on what keeps “John Carter” from being as excellent as “Gordon”. First is the lack of a decent musical soundtrack (you just can’t beat Queen’s soundtrack in “Flash Gordon”). Second, is that it’s lacking the tongue-in-cheek humor of “Gordon”. It was much more violent than I expected, too. At one point, Carter is literally chest deep of the corpses of aliens he killed. There’s also a scene where he busts through an animal’s back covered head-to-toe in its blood and another scene where he beheads a baddie. Since all the aliens’ blood is blue, “Carter” got to retain a PG-13 rating (just as Tarantino was able to retain an R rating by turning the big ending battle in “Kill Bill: Volume 1” black and white). I think maybe because it’s a Disney movie, people were expecting something lighter… I am glad the makers had the balls to not water it down to keep an image. 4 stars.

Real Steel – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In a future world where flesh-and-blood boxers have been replaced by towering mechanized fighters, pugilist-turned-promoter Charlie Kenton reconnects with his estranged son, Max, to convert a discarded machine into a World Robot Boxing contender.

Matt says: “Real Steel” is one of those movies that isn’t as bad as it looks. The trailer makes it appear to be a “Rock‘em Sock’em Robot” rip-off that’s just out to sell toys and whatever goods are being peddled by the corporate advertisers. Essentially it is. However, thankfully a decent (though generic) script, excellent special effects, and above average acting helps bind it all together into a fun family sports/Sci-Fi film. You will find yourself following as planned: cheering when they want you to cheer, laughing when they want you to laugh, and getting choked up when they want you to get choked up. It’s a paint-by-numbers experience, but much like an amusement park ride, that’s what it’s engineered to be. Also like that ride, it usually is a fun time. Don’t expect anything deeper than the wading pool, but even in knee high water there’s a lot of splashing to be done. 3 1/2 stars.

Norwegian Ninja – 2010 (NR)

Netflix says: Convicted as a traitor by the Norwegian government, Arne Treholt is an enigmatic character in the annals of European Cold War espionage. This quirky offering adds a satirical layer to his tale, imagining Treholt as the leader of a secret ninja force.

Matt says: Loosely (loosely being the operative word here) based on a real spy, “Norwegian Ninja” had everything it needed to be a great, great film… but it failed miserably. It’s filmed like a 70s spy flick with spot on costumes, attitudes, film stock, and set pieces. Also, the film makers bump it up a notch with cheesy ninja action, stereotypical dialog, cheap models, and a sense of adventure that feels like a Bond film, Tarantino film, or even a Doc Savage adventure. Yet, it’s all bogged down by politics and a plot so convoluted it makes “The Phantom Menace” look like “Sesame Street”. I should’ve realized it would disappoint when the producers turned out to be the same people who backed the mediocre talking-Nazi-zombie flick “Dead Snow”. I really wanted to like this (as I also wanted “Dead Snow”), and the aesthetics are boner-inducing… but the convoluted storyline and dead-pan dialog bored me to tears. 2 stars.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii – 1987 (NR)

Netflix says: Cult auteur Andy Sidaris delivers another B-movie spectacular in this offering from the Triple B (short for bullets, bombs and babes) Collection. In Hard Ticket to Hawaii, special agents Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) intercept a shipment of goods intended for a drug smuggler (Rodrigo Obregón), who retaliates by unleashing his henchmen. Meanwhile, a mutant snake with a taste for human flesh stalks the island.

Matt says: Just as Joe D’Amato loves beaver, Andy Sidaris absolutely loves tits. “Hard Ticket To Hawaii” never goes 10 minutes without a shot of a broad showing gratuitous bare naked tits, exposed cleavage, or “no-bra under see-though fabric”. It is very 80s… with big, teased up hair, pants hiked up to the ribcage, and a synthesized soundtrack that would make John Carpenter jealous. I truly believe that, at the time, Sidaris thought his films would rival the actioners of Van Damme and Schwarzenegger. What we got instead was D-list actors and actresses mechanically delivering their lines, a plot that seems to have been thrown together while shooting, and a direct-to-video transfer that never had a widescreen release. The icing on the cake is the unbelievable action pieces that not only defy normalcy, but also defy reality (at one point a skateboarding baddie with a gun and a blow-up doll get hit by a car and propelled into the air. Before either land, they are both blown up individually by a four-rocket rocket launcher). All of it combined equals a work of exploitative art. The 50s had their biker films, the 60s their hippy films, the 70s had Blaxploitation, and the 80s had direct-to-video action flicks. That this is one of the worst from that time also makes it one of the best. Look, I know movies like this are an acquired taste, so here is a 10 minute compilation of the best scenes (skip to 5:30 for the aforementioned blow-up doll scene). You really don’t need to watch it after that, unless you want the tits too. A 1/2 star movie with 4 star enjoyment.

Clash of the Titans – 1981 (PG)

Netflix says: This epic mythological adventure stars Harry Hamlin as Perseus, son of Zeus (Laurence Olivier), who embarks on a series of perilous quests in the hopes of rescuing Princess Andromeda (Judi Bowker) and winning the keys to the kingdom of Joppa. With winged horse Pegasus as his steed, Perseus must answer vexing riddles, capture the head of Medusa and slay a ravenous sea monster. Burgess Meredith and Ursula Andress co-star in this classic tale.

Matt says: An “Art of Cult” request by Cynthia Brown.

I have already mentioned a little bit about this in my “Clash of the Titans (2010)” review. But, you know, that was from memory. It had actually been years and years since I watched the original “classic” (the word “classic” will be applied here for several reasons, but keep in mind that it is not a synonym of “excellent”). The 1981 “Clash of the Titans” is a classic in that it a) is over 25 years old b) has several award winning actors c) has an award winning special effects artist attached to it and d) anyone who grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s will have fond memories of it. Loosely based on Greek mythology, “Clash of the Titans” follows Perseus’ journey to save Andromeda from the Cetus (which is called the Kraken in this). His journeys take him to the Graeae for assistance in reaching the Gorgons and ultimately retrieve the head of Medusa. This adaptation makes it a little more child friendly with the inclusion of a clockwork owl and fun, adventurous music. Yet, at its core, it is a better (if not still flawed) adaption than I remember it to be. As an exciting adventure movie for your pre/early teen, I think it still holds up pretty well, even if the Claymation and blue screen effects are obsolete in comparison to today’s green screen and CGI. I enjoyed this much more than the modern remake that had disappointingly sucked the fun right out of my eye sockets. The nightmare inducing Claymation Medusa (at least for me when I was 8 years old) and Hamlin’s “Jim Morrison” hair gets a fond 4 stars.

Back to the Future Part III – 1990 (PG)

Netflix says: The final installment of the Back to the Future trilogy finds Marty (Michael J. Fox) digging the trusty DeLorean out of a mineshaft and looking up Doc (Christopher Lloyd) in the Wild West of 1885. But when their time machine breaks down, the travelers are stranded in a land of spurs. More problems arise when Doc falls for pretty schoolteacher Clara Clayton (Mary Steenburgen), and Marty tangles with Buford Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson).

Matt says: The weakest film in the trilogy should only be watched for closure on the series. Part II ends on a cliff-hanger and, since this was filmed roughly around the same time, Part III is necessary to wrap things up. Throughout the film Doc keeps mentioning what a huge mistake it was to make the time machine and how, when it’s all said and done, it will be destroyed. (Spoiler Alert) When it finally is, we find that Doc has made another one and is taking his family around changing history wherever he sees fit. I know the first and second movies pretty much gave suspension of disbelief a vacation, but Part III just throws it all out the window. Anyway, it’s mostly a western with Fox playing the fish out of water routine again, but this time everything feels over done. Not the greatest way to wrap up the trilogy, but still a must for fans of the first two. 3 stars.

Back to the Future Part II – 1989 (PG)

Netflix says: Marty (Michael J. Fox) and Doc (Christopher Lloyd) are at it again in this wacky sequel to the 1985 blockbuster as the time-traveling duo head to 2015 to nip some McFly family woes in the bud. But things go awry thanks to bully Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) and a pesky sports almanac. In a last-ditch attempt to set things straight, Marty finds himself bound for 1955 and face to face with his teenage parents -- again.

Matt says: Even though it’s vision of the future is completely skewed (really, faxes will be the way to communicate in 2015?), and the time travel is as flawed as the first, this is the best film in the trilogy. I love the alternate time-lines, jumping back to the events of the first film to have a parallel second set of events performed, and that it is a little bit more on the dark side than the other films. You really need to have seen the first film to fully appreciate it, but as sequels go, it’s one of the rare ones that surpass the first film. 4 1/2 stars.

Back to the Future – 1985 (PG)

Netflix says: In this classic sci-fi adventure from director Robert Zemeckis, eccentric inventor Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) turns a DeLorean into a time machine that inadvertently sends his young friend, Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), 30 years into the past. While stuck in the 1950s, Marty disrupts his parents' destiny and risks throwing the time-space continuum completely out of whack. The only way back to 1985 now is to get mom and dad to pucker up.

Matt says: The original “Back to the Future” is a solid, entertaining, adventurous film. The time travel elements are there, but take a back seat to Fox’s “fish out of water” adventures in the 1950s. It’s really difficult to make any sort of time travel movie without a couple of paradoxes, so “Back to the Future” says “screw it” at the end and forces you to accept that, yeah, that’s what happened and the parents still had the same kids and Fox still has the same relationships as before time is skewed and you whipper-snappers better just shut up and believe it! It gets ridiculously tense at the climax, so much so that it become laughable, but I think that’s all part of the fun. Aside from a few curse words, there’s really not much keeping the whole family from enjoying it. It also holds up surprisingly well for being 27 years old. 4 stars.

Green Lantern - 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a brash, talented test pilot, is chosen by an alien force of warriors to become their representative on Earth and use his new powers as the Green Lantern to promote order and justice before conflict destroys his world. Despite being the first human to wear the ring that bestows his abilities, Hal must combat villain Parallax. Fellow pilot Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) aids Hal in his quest to save the galaxy.

Matt says: You know, it’s not as fun as “Iron Man” or “Thor”, or as deep as the Nolan Batman flicks, but “Green Lantern” isn’t as bad as critics made it out to be. In fact, with a little research into the background of the characters, it can be a satisfactory film. I mean, the enemy is a giant, sentient mass of fear that absorbs the fear from people (in effect, killing them painfully and horribly) that keeps growing with each kill. That’s some scary shit right there. I think the mythology is so dense that it lost a little something in transition from page to screen. I’m sure fanboys had as much to like as well as hate about it because of that. Ryan Reynolds got a bad rap too, but I have a feeling a lot of those remarks were from the trailer that made it seem he smugly quips throughout the film as if trying to do his best Robert Downey Jr. impression. Yeah, so there’s a little mugging, but for the most part he plays the hero as well as, say, Christopher Reeve or Chris Hemsworth. I’ll tell you, the movie beats the crap out of that godawful “Superman Returns” and Brandon “The Mannequin” Routh’s dull, lifeless performance. “Green Lantern” is lengthy, can be a bit slow at times, and is missing the humor of the Marvel films of late (why so serious, DC?), but as a solid, stoic superhero movie, it succeeds. I would’ve given it 3 1/2 stars if it wasn’t for the crap DVD rental version. The distributers, more than likely to try and force you to buy the Blu-Ray, released a murky, grainy, non-anamorphic rental version. You know, I don’t mind you forcing trailers or pulling the extras from the disc, Warner Brothers, but at least release a clear print! Where’s your sense of quality for your product? If I bought this DVD and this was the quality it came with, I would send that shit right back. 3 stars.

Your Highness – 2011 (NR)

Netflix says: When a twisted wizard kidnaps the virginal fiancée of a valiant prince, his ne'er-do-well brother grudgingly joins his sibling on a quest to save the beautiful damsel. Along the way, the duo meets their match in the form of a fetching female warrior.

Matt says: It’s hard to find good fantasy movies these days. The only adult oriented fantasy movies I could think of that have even just come out in the past few years have been not very good. “Your Highness” exceeded my expectations. It’s a solid fantasy movie with enough humor to make it fun. Before this, Danny McBride played supporting roles to other comedians. In this (in which he also wrote), he shines as the slacker brother to a hero prince and shows that he too has star power. He seems to channel a “Big Trouble in Little China” Kurt Russell in this role. Franco plays the same “sleepy self” personality that he plays in real life and is the weakest part of the film. The big surprise is Portman… as in, “How the hell did they get Natalie Portman for this?”. She is absolutely stunning and absorbs the screen whenever she’s on it. As for the movie, it’s funny, adventurous, and crude… just how I like it. It never grossed me out, but it does push the levels of taste. Where something like, oh, say, any Adam Sandler movie pelts the audience with unnecessary fart and pee jokes, “Highness” only pulls out the dick jokes when they can take you off guard for a good hearty chuckle. Much like “Krod Mandoon”, “Your Highness” effectively blends fantasy and humor, without sacrificing either. I saw the unrated version, so I can’t really comment on the theatrical release, but there was some f-bombs that could’ve been cut. They just failed at hitting the humor mark. Others, though, happen right on comedic timing and will illicit a smile. It’s a shame this didn’t do better in theaters as films like this aren’t made often enough. 4 stars.

In Time – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In a near future where aging stops at 25, time is the new currency and the wealthy can live forever. When Will Salas inherits decades of life from a wealthy murdered man, he's pegged as the suspect by the corrupt Time Keepers, who enforce the law.

Matt says: You know, I believe there is an unbalance in the rich and the poor in this country. I think it’s unfair that the rich get tax breaks while the poor get their interest rates raised. I was not for the bailouts, and in fact, I think they did more harm than good. That being said, I don’t need some preachy, low rent sci-fi actioner to reiterate what “99%” already agree on. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what “Occupy Wall Street: The Movie” is all about. In the future, the bankers are rich, taking all the “time” for themselves, while the working class work literally day to day. One bleeding heart banker can’t take it any more and gives his bankroll of 100 years to Justin Bieber. Bieber, in turn, is thumbed as a murderer for having the hours (because who would believe that a rich person would grow a heart and just give their “time” away? Ok… so yeah, that makes sense actually). What comes from it all is a Bonnie-and-Clyde-meet-Robin-Hood-in-the-future story that gets all bogged down by it’s liberal bullshit. Look, I know who made this movie… rich people did. It’s hard to digest an anti-greed/anti-bank agenda when the people preaching make at least 10X a year than you do. The only thing the movie has going for it are the beautiful, young, hard bodies littering the film. Amanda Seyfried and Olivia Wilde are smoking hot as always. Shit, and I even now know why all the girlies go gaga over Bieber. What? Justin Timberlake? Who the hell… “Dick in a box”? Never heard of it. ‘N Synch? Isn’t that just the same shit as Bieber anyway? Oh, who cares? 2 stars.

X-Men: First Class – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In this exciting prequel to the X-Men series, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender) -- the future Professor X and Magneto -- are best friends dedicated to harnessing their powers and promoting the education of fellow mutants during the turbulent 1960s. The duo works together to stop a powerful adversary that threatens mankind, but their ideological differences drive them apart and turn them into ferocious enemies.

Matt says: You know, in the past few years Marvel has been doing a damn fine job apologizing for Ang Lee’s “Hulk”, “The Fantastic Four” movies, and the abysmal “X-Men 3” and “Wolverine” films. “Iron Man”, “Thor”, and “Captain America” have all been fun, exciting, well made films. It took a long time, but Hollywood was finally bitch-slapped into taking superhero movies seriously (with a huge nod to Christopher Nolan for his part in it all). “X-Men: First Class” keeps with that trend, redeeming the series. No, there’s no Patrick Stewart or Ian McKellen, but what you do get is all the things that are making Marvel films so much fun of late. They stay true to the comics in theme and add enough inside references to make comic fans giggle with glee. But, the inconsistences in movie-compared-to-comic in “First Class” are so grand that it might as well ignore 40 years of print. As a stand-alone experience, I look at it as the history of the X-Men that the comics never covered, in an alternate reality. By focusing on the subjects that made the comic so good, “First Class” surpasses the third X-Men film and the Wolverine film to become the most effective of the series since part 2. It’s not quite to “Iron Man” levels of greatness, but it’s pretty.. pretty.. pretty good. Oh, and it has Kevin Bacon as a Nazi evil bad guy! Come on, tell me you don’t want to see that. And, best of all, a cameo by a fat, old Michael Ironside!! Michael. Fucking. Ironside!!! A 3 1/2 star film, bumped by Bacon and Ironside’s inclusion to make it 4 stars.

Jumanji – 1995 (PG)

Netflix says: When siblings Judy (Kirsten Dunst) and Peter (Bradley Pierce) discover an enchanted board game that opens the door to a magical world, they unwittingly invite Alan (Robin Williams) -- an adult who's been trapped inside the game for 26 years -- into their living room. Alan's only hope for freedom is to finish the game, which proves risky as all three find themselves running from giant rhinoceroses, evil monkeys and other terrifying creatures.

Matt says: Oh, Robin Williams… how the late 80s/early 90s was your time. Williams seemed to be fading already by the time this was made, but he still brings his “man-child on supercool” self to the table. At the time, this was at the top of the CGI effects films for the year. Now, it is almost like watching a mid-1960s special effects laden movie in the early 1980s… it just doesn’t hold up. “Jurassic Park”, “Terminator 2”, and other CGI films in the 90s hid the poor effects masking with strobe lights and night shots. “Jumanji” had the balls to bring it all out in the open daylight and the poor CGI matting looks like the land speeder in the original cut of “Star Wars” (skip to 2:08) because of it. Effects aside, it’s kind of a fun movie. It does capture the feeling of adventure and excitement that is closer to a “Goonies” than a “Spy Kids”. It has some stuff that will disturb younger children, but if your slightly older kids can look past the shitty effects, they may find a little fantasy escapement there. 3 stars.

Battle: Los Angeles – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Led by their skillful staff sergeant (Aaron Eckhart), a platoon of gutsy Marines, including Santos (Michelle Rodriguez), Simmons (Taylor Handley) and Lockett (Cory Hardrict), fight to protect all humankind from astonishingly powerful aliens who've suddenly invaded Los Angeles. Jonathan Liebesman (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) directs this sci-fi film that also stars Lucas Till, Ramon Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan and Michael Peña.

Matt says: You know how, when the later game consoles came out, you could sit down and just watch someone play a first person shooter for around an hour and a half or so? The effects in the game were spectacular and engrossing and it drew you in. Well, too little too late, they made a movie that tried to capture the feeling of watching someone play a first person shooter. The big problems with that are: 1. Video games don’t need to have engrossing stories (though they’re better for it) and character growth. 2. When watching someone play, you can actually participate with puzzles and the such. 3. The shakiness in video games comes from a first person view point and is easy to adjust to. “Battle: Los Angeles” failed at almost every level. The characters were cookie-cutter stereotypes and clichés, the plot was 2 dimensional, and the shaky cam was so bad that I started getting motion sickness (and movies barely even do that to me). In fact, it was all so bad that I ended up losing interest in the film and browsing the internet, with it just playing in the background. When the best thing someone can say about your movie is “the CGI was above average” then you know you made an awful film. The parts I did see get 1 1/2 stars.

The Warrior’s Way – 2009 (R)

Netflix says: Fugitive Asian assassin Yang (Dong-gun Jang) journeys from the Far East to the Wild West, where he holes up in a tiny town in the American badlands. There, he meets local drunk and ex-fighter Ron (Geoffrey Rush), as well as a beautiful circus knife thrower (Kate Bosworth) with a dark secret. Danny Huston and Tony Cox co-star in writer-director Sngmoo Lee's gripping hybrid of martial arts and Western genres.

Matt says: “The Warrior’s Way” liberally uses CGI to the extent of it being almost a full blown cartoon itself, it’s rather generic in its story, and the performances are nothing to write home about, but damn is it an entertaining film! Think of an encapsulated live action anime influenced by the samurai movies of the 60s and 70s, but polished and slick with a modern edge, and you have this. Backgrounds are more than obvious soundstages, all the characters are clichés, and the CGI blood bursts with every swing of the sword (Side note: But then, as most films with CGI enhanced blood, the blood disappears without a trace shortly after. A flaw I despise in modern films.)… it’s pure cheese and it knows it is, embracing the cheese and amping it to comic proportions. And, best of all, there’s a big, pulsating heart behind every aspect of it. It seems to have been lovingly made as half homage and half modern take on the samurai genre. I was pleased with the experience and recommend it to fans of anime, manga, old samurai movies, or even spaghetti westerns. 4 stars.

Captain America: The First Avenger – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Marvel launches another super franchise with this action-packed origin story, which follows Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) as he volunteers for a secret experiment during World War II. Transformed into a superhero named Captain America, Steve goes after the Axis. With his perfect physique and heightened reflexes -- and his sidekick, Bucky (Sebastian Stan) -- Steve battles the Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), a super soldier created by Italian fascists.

Matt says: Well, I’ll be damned… I actually enjoyed this. I never was a big Captain America fan. I mean, even the name turned me off as cheesy, patriotic bullshit. But, due to decent writing, good performances, and a fun, summer popcorn blockbuster feel, this turned out pretty good. Just like “Iron Man” and “Thor” before it, this really doesn’t offer anything new (in fact, just change the characters and you can make any of the movies any other of the movies), but they’ve all been consistently entertaining. It’s got something for everybody, including enough fan service to keep the most skeptical fanboy happy. I can’t say much else because it’s all been said before in my reviews of the other films. I’ll leave with that, thanks to this, I’m now really really looking forward to “The Avengers”. 4 stars.

Jumper – 2008 (PG-13)

Netflix says: The product of a broken home, Davey Rice (Hayden Christensen) is looking for a way to escape his abusive father -- and finds it when he discovers he can teleport himself at will -- in this sci-fi thriller from director Doug Liman. But Davey's newfound powers soon become a double-edged sword that exacts a terrible price and attracts unwanted attention from the National Security Agency. Samuel L. Jackson, Diane Lane and Tom Hulce co-star.

Matt says: It’s a nifty concept, the whole “group of people who can teleport at will being chased by religious nuts”… too bad that was all there was too it. There is absolutely nothing more going on than chase after chase. It’s action packed, but it’s lacking depth or meaning. For a Sci-Fi actioner time waster, it’s not bad, just don’t expect to do much more than blow an hour and a half on flashy colors, slick special effects, and lots and lots of chasing. 3 stars.

Sucker Punch – 2011 (PG-13)

Netflix says: In this mind-warping action thriller, Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a girl slated for lobotomy in a 1950s-era asylum, leads a group of young female inmates in an attempt to escape both their mental fantasy worlds and the actual institution where they are prisoners. To accomplish her plan, Baby Doll must steal five objects -- but is the man who's trying to stop her real, or a figment of her imagination? Zack Snyder (Watchmen) directs.

Matt says: Zack Snyder has a very unique visual style that I adore, but he also loves slow motion, which I don’t. It isn’t bad in small doses, yet Snyder overuses it much too often. Therefore, each time I watch one of his movies I am equally enamored and agitated. Just as “300” was a lover letter to Frank Miller and “Watchmen” was a love letter to Alan Moore (even though Moore was against it from the get-go), “Sucker Punch” is a love letter to Japanese manga and anime. Hot, scantily clad young women shoot and samurai sword their way through action sequence after action sequence with a plot as convoluted as most anything from the land of the rising sun. There are giant robots, zombie steam-punk Nazis, dragons, old temples, jet packs, Gatling guns, and thigh-high stockings galore. Sure it is overly depressing, has too much going on for an action flick, and is way too predictable, but it’s still a pretty cool movie. Snyder has a way of capturing the feel of comic books in live action better than anyone else (Nolan is better at character development and themes). If Snyder would have trimmed some of the fat and re-arranged the protagonists’ situations, it would’ve been more enjoyable and I would have given it a better rating. But, because there’s a bunch of needless, emo bullshit to watch between the glorious action, I can’t give this higher than 3 1/2 stars.

Stone Cold – 1991 (R)

Netflix says: Football star Brian Bosworth hits the big screen in this 1991 biker-gang action spectacular as Joe Huff, a short-fused cop hired by the FBI to infiltrate the Brotherhood, a team of drug-running bikers led by the evil Chains (Lance Henriksen). Huff goes undercover as John Stone, but his bloody initiation into the Brotherhood has unforeseen consequences that set the stage for nonstop action, culminating in a brutal and massive street brawl.

Matt says: Say what you will about Bosworth’s acting skills, but this is a pretty damn fine movie. I’m assuming it was meant to kickstart Bosworth as the next action star; there are some known actors in it (Lance Henriksen being the most famous) and it has a budget. Because it didn’t too well in theaters, and because of Bosworth’s atrocious acting, that sadly never happened. The resulting film is an action packed macho fest filled with explosions and bodies. The best aspects are the fashion and hairstyles; jeans are tight and hiked above the navel, jackets all have shoulder pads, women have that “poof” of hair at their bangs, and you can tell the baddest motherfuckers from their outrageous mullets. Hell, Bosworth’s signature mullet is to die for. If you’re looking for tough talk, nerf metal, bikers, gun fights, explosions, titties, bare-knuckled brawls, and potty mouths, this is the film to see. One of the last great action movies of the late 80s/early 90s. 4 stars.

Face/Off – 1997 (R)

Netflix says: John Woo directs this explosive cat-and-mouse pursuit starring John Travolta as Sean Archer, an antiterrorism agent who goes under the knife to acquire the likeness of a terrorist, Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage), to gather details on a bomb targeting Los Angeles. When Troy escapes from custody, he turns the tables and undergoes surgery to take on Archer's appearance -- allowing the criminal to get dangerously close to the agent's wife and daughter.

Matt says: Groan worthy actioner takes many liberties with the whole “suspension of disbelief” thing. When cop Travolta needs to find out where a bomb is hidden, he switches faces with terrorist Cage in order to get the info out of the terrorist’s brother. Wouldn’t you know, through an extraordinary series of events, they both start living each other’s lives. Nobody can do an action sequence like Woo. Guys jump sideways in slow motion with double pistols blazing, bodies fall from high like over ripe pears, glass shatters at a single touch, and bullets make everything spark and explode. It’s really quite thrilling. Woo also likes to give a little deeper meaning to his films. In this it’s about identity. There are moments where the characters are so involved in the other’s lives, they being to question their own self. Mirrors lie to them, only perpetuating the doubt and madness. Keep an eye out for some of Woo’s signature symbols; birds flying in slow motion, religious symbolism, gun standoffs, and the aforementioned double pistols. It’s too bad it’s all accented by such a lousy story. I’m sure, even with the weak plot, that this was a very attractive idea for both Cage and Travolta. It’s not often you get to play both the good guy and bad guy in a film. They show it too by chewing up the scenery every chance they get. As long as you let logic take a little break, “Face/Off” is a fun action flick with lots of violence and over the top performances. 3 stars.

Tron: Legacy – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: While investigating the mysterious disappearance of his father, Kevin (Jeff Bridges), techie Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund) lands in a beguiling computerized world of enslaved gladiators, where his dad has been living for more than 20 years. Joined by Kevin's trusted friend (Olivia Wilde), the father and son must journey across a breathtaking -- and perilous -- cyberscape in this 21st-century update to the beloved 1982 sci-fi classic.

Matt says: I totally expected to hate this going in to it. The first movie got a less than favorable review from me and I didn’t hear good things about this one. I was pleasantly surprised when it exceeded my expectations. Sure, the acting was as wooden as the first (quite literally when the CGI version of Bridges was on screen) and the story was so-so, but it was full of excitement and great effects. The best thing though was the music by Daft Punk and the whole thing had a very cool visual esthetic to it. Even though it’s a sequel, it sets things up for a new mythology and leaves the ending wide open for a sequel of its own. It was worth checking out in the theater, due to the immersive 3D and excellent sound. Hedlund does a decent job as Flynn’s son, but his character seems a little too perfect. For a 3D movie, it’s a shame the characters turned out so two dimensional. Olivia Wilde was great and looked hot as hell in her skin-tight Tron outfit. I’ve loved her every since her run on “House” and the look they gave her made her even sexier. Bridges was good in his true self, but the CGI “young” Bridges looked like those creepy “The Polar Express” characters. I guess real looking human CGI is not quite a perfect science yet. So, yeah, I had fun with “Tron: Legacy” and enjoyed the experience… big whoop, wanna fight about it?!?! 3 1/2 stars.

Equilibrium – 2002 (R)

Netflix says: In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: Books, art and music are strictly forbidden, and feeling is a crime punishable by death -- a rule that's enforced by feeding the denizens a mood-limiting drug. John Preston (Christian Bale) is a top government official responsible for destroying those who resist the rules. But when he misses a dose of his own medication, he experiences a pang of conscience.

Matt says: Take one part “Fahrenheit 451”, one part “1984”, and add a dash of “The Matrix”, and you have the unoriginal stew that is “Equilibrium”. It seems for a modern science fiction movie to have a chance at mass appeal it must have a dystopian future where the hunter learns that life isn’t all peaches and cream and becomes the hunted. Think about it. In the past 8 years, what mainstream adult science fiction movies can you remember off the top of your head besides “Equilibrium”? Here’s three that come instantly to my mind: “Repo Men”, “Minority Report”, and “Paycheck”. Now, maybe that’s because I just saw this, but all of them have basically that same plot. “Equilibrium” does seem to update its influences to reflect a post 9/11 America. In the future, everyone must take a daily dose of emotion suppressor as mandated by the nanny state. This is to prevent all the negative emotions that caused WWIII (it sounds less corny in context). Stimulus that cause emotions are banned and those who disobey get “taken away”. Now, modern society isn’t trying to suppress emotions yet, but the ever watchful eye of the government does seem to be telling us more and more what we should and should not do… all to protect us from ourselves. So, I guess it was successful in getting its point across. It also has lots of guns and people getting shot and faces getting sliced off, so I did enjoy it. Although it’s nothing new, “Equilibrium” is a decent action/sci-fi movie. 3 1/2 stars.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice – 2010 (PG)

Netflix says: While Horvath (Alfred Molina) and Drake (Toby Kebbell) plot to restore Morgana Le Fay (Alice Krige) to power, master sorcerer Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) makes physics student Dave Stutle (Jay Baruchel) his apprentice, teaching him enough magic to save the world from sure ruin. Also featuring Monica Bellucci, Teresa Palmer and Toby Kebbell, this whimsical fantasy is a live-action update of the beloved animated short from the 1940s, "Fantasia."

Matt says: How this is in any way related to the “Fantasia” short aside from the title and a bastardized version of the “magic mop” scene is beyond me. “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is an easily forgettable cash in that tries to jump on the “misunderstood kid who’s really a great wizard” gravy train only to fail at producing anything more than a mediocre carbon copy of better films. I’m not a big fan of Jay Baruchel… there’s something about his voice that bugs me. Though it was easily ignored in “How To Train Your Dragon” (do to his character being upstaged by everything else in the movie), in this it’s hard to not tune him out. And Cage. Oh, Cage… you’re such a whore. Every time I see Cage in something with heavy CGI, I know it’s due to the mortgage on his fifth house. Just sell the villa in Tuscany and start making some good movies again, Nicolas! He seems to only be going through the motions in this, and rightly so, because he knows it’s just a paycheck for everybody involved. The biggest disappointment is that there’s just no heart. It’s a generic cookie cutter flick with bland characters and less than adequate CGI. Even at their worst, Disney flicks usually have a little emotion. Nope, this one was a flat out bore. Wizard obsessed youngsters might actually enjoy it somewhat, but I didn’t care for it too much. 2 stars.

Time After Time – 1979 (PG)

Netflix says: Notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper (David Warner) is back to continue his ghastly reign of terror. But this time, he's found his way from Victorian times to the late 1970s, and he's intent on taking care of unfinished business. Using a time machine to pursue Jack into the future, H.G. Wells (Malcolm McDowell) meets Amy (Mary Steenburgen), a bank clerk who teaches Wells about life in the '70s while helping him hunt for Jack.

Matt says: Read the Netflix description, I’ll wait… ok, done? Yeah, it sounds pretty hokey, doesn’t it? A time traveling H.G. Wells hunting down Jack the Ripper in 1970s San Francisco? And if you predicted fish-out-of-water revelations (a moving picture box! horseless carriages! disco!), you’d be right. I have always loved the work of Warner and McDowell and they do a great job with what is essentially a pretty poor concept. It all feels like a mediocre 1960s Star Trek episode without all the Star Trek (after writing this I read up on it and, believe it or not, the writer did write for the original Star Trek series). And yet, somehow this all seems to work. It’s an OK movie, but it’s the performances that keep you engaged. Steenburgen was actually quite a hottie back in the day and plays McDowell’s infatuated, liberated guide well. And, if you’re observant, you’ll catch Corey Feldman in his first film role as “boy at museum”. It’s funny, because knowing his rise to fame in the 80s, you expect him to show up as the annoying kid sidekick. Nope, he’s just “boy at museum”. One line, that’s all he gets. It wouldn’t be until 1985 before he has another live action film role (in “Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter”) that wasn’t “made for TV”. And then, such classics as “Dream a Little Dream” and License to Drive” followed. You know, I haven’t seen “License to Drive” in a while. Remember that scene where they drive uncontrollably down the hill just to screech to a halt in front of the diner? Yeah, that was sweet. Oh, and Heather Graham was so cute back then. I had a major crush on her in that movie. Boy, I’d really like to see it again… I wonder if it’s on Netflix streaming. No, it’s not? Too bad. I guess I’ll have to find a torrent or something… Oh yeah, “Time After Time”. Um… enjoyable enough for a Saturday afternoon time waster. 3 stars.

The Spirit – 2008 (PG-13)

Netflix says: After rookie Central City cop Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht) is murdered, he's mysteriously reborn as masked superhero the Spirit. Setting out to rid the streets of crime, he finds his archnemesis in the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson), whose quest for immortality imperils the entire city. Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes and Paz Vega co-star in this adaptation of Will Eisner's classic comic by writer-director Frank Miller (Sin City, 300).

Matt says: So it’s come to this… The Spirit. I first saw this while visiting Marc. He had stuffed his Netflix queue so we could fill any down time by doing what we do best: watching and picking apart movies. The Spirit shows that, even though we have many similar tastes, we also can differ greatly. While Marc had loved this, I hated every minute of it. His defense was that it was Miller’s “fuck you” to people expecting a typical superhero movie. That Miller somehow engineered a master plan to throw a monkey wrench into the cogs of the movie making machine. “The fans? Screw the fans! Fuck everyone!” is what Miller seems to be saying, his genius dripping from every pore. I, on the other hand, see this as a pathetic attempt by a madman to try to recapture his edge. You see, Miller was a genius. His early works (Batman: Year One, The Dark Knight Returns, and Sin City) pushed the envelope of storytelling. People were enamored by the adult themes and noir stylings. Then, all comics started adapting to what he and Alan Moore had started. Miller was no longer “special”. How could he shock and awe when every big name superhero was getting killed off, graphically maiming enemies, and filled with deep angst? In order to try to recapture his lost fame, Miller decided to amp up the craziness of his creations. Everything was bumped to comical extremes, that I honestly think were valid attempts are recapturing his lost “cool”. Every guy is a chick magnet killing machine and every chick is scantily clad and stacked with boobage. Dialog is nothing but endless bad 1940s mystery novel narration. Unfortunately, all this seems to do is turn off readers, and in the case of The Spirit, viewers. Judge for yourself. Here are a few examples of his latest work: here, here, and here. Ok, done? Yeah, what the fuck, right? Miller obviously enjoys making movies and comics. Why would he intentionally sabotage his career by “sticking it” to his fans? One of the major things that makes me think that The Spirit was Miller’s attempt at something legitimate is the art direction (and the only thing worth a damn in the whole film). It’s really beautifully filmed. Each shot looks like a comic panel come to life. He uses the same techniques as Sin City, dulling colors and liberally using CGI to enhance the scenery. Too bad the dialog, plot, and acting are utter crap. Seriously, I’ve seen better writing from 5 year olds. Here’s an example of a line from the movie: “She provides for me. She protects me. She is my mother, my city is. She’s a good mother.” Maybe I don’t get him any more, but I’m not alone in my opinion. So, after watching it a second time, I haven’t changed my thoughts on The Spirit. I still don’t like it. 1 1/2 stars.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – 2010 (PG-13)

Netflix says: When dreamy delivery girl Ramona (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) starts popping up in his life, slacker musician Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) takes notice. But to win the love of this rollerblading goddess, Scott must vanquish all seven of her evil exes in martial arts battles. Based on Bryan Lee O'Malley's graphic novels, director Edgar Wright's action-packed romcom also stars Anna Kendrick, Brandon Routh and Chris Evans.

Matt says: Based on a series of graphic novels and full of video game and manga references, “Scott Pilgrim” is understandably loved by purveyors of all things otaku. It’s about a slacker 20-something year old who vies for a girl, which requires him to battle the seven evil exes who want to control the future of her love life. Scott is a dick, but a lovable dick. He’s conceited, uses people, and has the maturity of a 12 year old… but, then again, most J-RPG protagonists act the same, it doesn’t make us empathize any less with their plights. What follows is a hyperactive live action anime peppered with manga style graphics, video game sound effects, and a rockin’ soundtrack. It’s a enjoyable movie, with some solid chuckles and great battle sequences. There’s potential for this to be the modern equivalent of “Big Trouble in Little China”. But, where “Big Trouble” was for the 80s Kung-Fu movie generation, “Scott Pilgrim” is for the 2000s video game generation. Sure, the satire can come on a little heavy handed and it can be too cool for its own good at times, but it’s all fun. Cera is his same soft-spoken awkward self, but that’s what he does best. When it comes time for the fights, he proves he can handle the choreography extremely well. I’ll tell you, if you aren’t a fan of video games, manga, or anime, you probably won’t enjoy this very much. But, for you who have been known to waste an entire Sunday afternoon breading a gold chocobo, have the soundtrack to your favorite Japanese cartoon on your iPod, or have spent over $200 on comics in one shot, this movie is for you. Guilty. To all three. 4 stars.

Transmorphers – 2007 (NR)

Netflix says: Three hundred years ago, alien machines landed on Earth, wiping out civilization and driving mankind underground. Now, after three centuries of oppression, a small band of hardened resistance fighters leads the charge to the surface, where the final battle against the giant robots will decide the fate of the world. Amy Weber, Matthew Wolf, Eliza Swenson, Shaley Scott and Griff Furst star in this postapocalyptic techno-thriller.

Marc says: Asylum Films is like the cinematic equivalent of those Chinese manufacturers who press out cheap counterfeit toy knockoffs that wind up on the shelves of Dollar General Stores. Transmorphers, a direct to video “mockbuster” is no different then the hundreds of other shovelware titles pumped out by Asylum. The title, of course, capitalizes on whatever highly anticipated movie is coming out in theaters, and the general intent is to get it on the new release wall of Blockbuster and Wal-Mart right around the same general time as the big budget studio movie’s premiere so as to rope in the hypothetical “uninformed moviewatchers’” rental or purchase dollars. As sleazy as that is, the actual product on display here is so terrible as to be personally insulting. The acting is no more than rotely memorized lines recited from a nonsensical and barren script, the direction consists of static camera shots with nearly no framing or purpose, special effects are below-par even when compared with CGI utilized in Xena: The Warrior Princess over 10 years ago, every single plot point, conceit, and twist is borrowed from other movies, and there are missing sound effects, visual effects, and de-synced audio throughout the entire wretched 85 minutes of runtime. The whole endeavor is one of the most creatively bankrupt things I have ever had the misfortune to witness. As an aside, this movie first came to my attention, when, at the time of its DTV release, the director actually had the audacity to aggressively defend this travesty by attacking his critics on the IMDB message boards. “I would like to see you do better!” he would cry, as if such an argument had any weight or meaning in view of this celluloid abortion he saw fit to claim as a work of art. My take: You don’t need to be a five-star French gourmet chef to know when you’ve just been served rotten meat. This movie sucks, the director knows it, and he should own his failure, just like everybody else has to, whether other people can do it better or not. 0 stars.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration – 2009 (R)

Netflix says: When a Chechen Islamic extremist threatens the world with another nuclear disaster centered in Chernobyl, Ukraine, futuristic supersoldier Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) leads a team to recapture the power plant and disarm the madman. But when the terrorist turns a clone of Deveraux's old sergeant (Dolph Lundgren) against him, the hero must first take out his old pal. John Hyams directs this installment in the Universal Soldier saga.

Marc says: It is surprisingly good for being a direct to video production, and doubly surprisingly good for being a sequel to a throwaway action movie franchise. But, the biggest surprise is just how good this is as a stand-alone military science-fiction movie. Gritty, brutal, no-nonsense combat violence, bleak and unrelenting atmosphere, minimalistic and effective synthesizer score, and well-done straightforward performances by everyone involved. One of those true “diamond in the rough” finds. 4 solid stars!

Matt says: I saw the original “Universal Soldier” over 18 years ago when it played at the theater I worked at as a teen. I liked it enough, but wasn’t blown away. Over the years, there were several direct to video sequels, which I heard were utter crap so I stayed away from them. When Marc rented this and said that it was actually a good movie, I still was skeptical, but willing to give it a chance. I added it to my queue, but as the year went on, it kept getting pushed further and further back. Now, having seen it, I can say truthfully that it’s a pretty decent movie. The plot, dialog, and even music feel like a late 80s/early 90s action film… but with a heaping of 2000’s grit. It actually rivals “The Expendables” as the quintessential action throw back. Van Damme is a fine wine; he just keeps getting better with age. After the highly enjoyable “JCVD”, I gained a different appreciation for him. He is no longer the pretty boy ass-kicker. Now, he’s the aging, introspective ex-ass-kicker who is regrettably forced into fighting. It gives his roles more depth. It was also good to see Lundgren back with Van Damme, though it takes two thirds of the movie for him to even show up. If I remember the original, there was a rivalry between the two that returns in this. Most of all, it’s a well polished film. The direction and editing is spot on, the music is never distracting or inappropriate, everyone plays their roles wholeheartedly, there’s growth in the returning characters, the effects are excellent, and it has tense scenes of action and drama. I was pleasantly surprised! Who would have known that after three lousy direct to video sequels, a less than popular franchise would produce a movie that was worthy of the theatrical run it never got? 4 stars.

Circle of Iron – 1978 (R)

Netflix says: David Carradine plays four roles in this epic adventure, including a blind sage who helps Cord the Seeker (Jeff Cooper), a young martial artist who is looking for the all-knowing Zetan (Christopher Lee) so he can get his hands on the priceless Book of Knowledge. Based on a story by the legendary Bruce Lee -- who died before production began -- the film blends Eastern philosophy with classic fight scenes.

Matt says: Mostly shirtless Cord the Seeker hits and kicks his way across a mythological land of trials, introspection, and monkey people to, um, “seek” an ancient manuscript to gain enlightenment. Along the way he learns Asian philosophy from several people, mostly played by David Carradine. The movie's plot feels one half “Beastmaster”, one half “Kung Fu”, and one half every Shaw Brothers movie ever made. Yes, it’s manly enough to have three halves… and although I enjoy a good guy flick, I was a little disappointed by how women were portrayed. The two women who did get any lines were a sex slave in a harem who was crucified and an overbearing, bitchy wife. The story isn’t about them, though, it’s about Cord and his journey. Everything symbolizes something in a dude’s life, even the women’s less than flattering roles, and it’s all about the big question of existence. The Zen themes and philosophical aspects come off as slightly hokey when relayed by crackers with fake “old speak” accents, though the message is there. Maybe it was the budget restraints, but there was something about this that didn’t feel completely polished. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it; it’s got some impressive scenery, Carradine and Christopher Lee, I’m all for something that sparks a journey of self awareness in viewers, and most of all, you can tell the makers really cared about this. Though not quite “Siddhartha”, it’s still a palatable primer for a little Buddhist discovery. 3 stars.

Lady Terminator (aka Pembalasan ratu pantai selatan) – 1988 (UR)

Netflix says: All bets are off when the spirit of a vengeful, sexually insatiable South Seas queen possesses nubile anthropology student Tania Wilson (Barbara Anne Constable) who morphs into … the Lady Terminator. Armed with an AK-47 and bullets galore, she'll stop at nothing to satisfy the long-dead queen's thirst for revenge against the offspring of a man who roused her fury. This 1989 cult classic also stars Christopher Hart and Claudia Angelique Rademaker.

Matt says: Everything you need to know can be summed up in the mind blowing first five pre-credit minutes. Picture a beach, waves lapping gently at the shore. Then, a voice over warns us to keep the past in the past. Cut to a castle on a cliff, and inside, a soft-core porn scene is taking place. A woman is on top of a man, riding him… suddenly, as he orgasms, he screams and is covered in blood. The woman dismounts and sighs that no man can satisfy her. Four female slaves come in and carry off the man’s body. The next man enters and embraces the woman. As the passion builds, he suddenly pulls an eel from between her legs. He straightens it with his other hand and it stiffens into a knife. The woman is shocked, but the man reminds her that she is now his wife as lightening strikes the blade. She curses his future relatives and vanishes to “return to the bottom of the sea to join the forces of evil and avenge this insult.” Start credits. As the opening credits rolled, I thought I had the wrong movie. Yet, sure enough, after they finished “Lady Terminator” flashed up on the screen accompanied by the sound of gunshots and bad 80s synthesizer music. What the fuck??? What followed was barely a story of leather jacket clad grad student with an eel in her snizz indiscriminately screwing and killing her way across Indonesia. It seems this was originally called “Pembalasan ratu pantai selatan” (aka “South Shore Queen's Revenge”, thanks Google Translate!) in Indonesia. “Lady Terminator” is the name American distributers tacked on to trick everyone with name recognition and because of its loose similarity to the Schwarzenegger flick (only in that an unstoppable killing machine kills with killy killing and plucks its own eyeball out with an X-Acto knife). Everybody is badly dubbed over, whether they’re speaking English or not, and the dialog seems to have been written by a five year old with down syndrome. The scenes jump from gun battle to gun battle with little or no plot development. Fortunately, there’s plenty of boobs and fake blood to keep you entertained. But, when the magic wielding kung-fu hermit shows up to take on Lady Terminator, and when she pulls out the lazar eye beams, you know you’re in for a real treat. You know, I ignored the warning in the beginning voice over and I let this movie take me back in time, back to the trash HBO used to show after 10pm. I used to dig movies like this, and dagnabbit, I still do! Good attempt at a lump of coal, Mr. Marc, but this one gets… 3 1/2 stars.

Blood Diamond – 2006 (R)

Netflix says: In war-ravaged Sierra Leone, diamond smuggler Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio) learns that a local fisherman (Djimon Hounsou) has stumbled upon a gigantic gem, and he offers to reunite the man with his family in exchange for the diamond. When Archer befriends a journalist (Jennifer Connelly) tracing "blood diamonds" that finance terrorist groups, he's faced with a choice between riches and humanity. DiCaprio and Hounsou each earned Oscar nods.

Marc says: DiCaprio turns in a decent performance, with just enough idiosyncratic character quirks to make you forget his movie star persona and take him at face value as a troubled soldier of fortune who smuggles conflict diamonds out of warzones in Africa. Relentlessly turns on the preach-o-matic moralizing, especially with the woefully miscast Jennifer Connelly, who acts as a mouthpiece for the inane viewpoint that if Americans just stopped buying diamond engagement rings, civil war in African countries would all go away. As a result of the heavy-handed message and an obvious shoehorned romantic subplot (I mean, you just don’t put DiCaprio in a movie and them have him go stag, do you?), Blood Diamond meanders and loses much of its focus over 150 minutes of runtime. The bloated ending sequence is especially guilty of this, as it practically forces several contrived feel good scenes of justice on the viewer, long after the main story has been wrapped up. Ultimately, I would genuinely recommend Lord of War over this any day, as LOW made many similar points about African brushfire wars, the involvement of foreign elements, and the role of conflict diamonds in same in a far more succinct and sophisticated manner. Blood Diamond is content to pretend that “evil prevails only when good men fail to act.” Let’s drop the pretense here... evil prevails. C-.

Hancock – 2008 (UR)

Netflix says: Will Smith stars as Hancock, a down-and-out superhero who's forced to employ a PR expert (Jason Bateman) to help repair his image when the public grows weary of all the damage he's inflicted during his lifesaving heroics. The agent's idea of imprisoning the antihero to make the world miss him proves successful, but will Hancock stick to his new sense of purpose or slip back into old habits? Charlize Theron co-stars in Peter Berg's action-comedy.

Marc says: Mediocre hack Peter Berg squanders the under-utilized premise of a “down on his luck” superhero by abandoning the entire concept about one hour in. Although the first half squeezes out some seldom few laughs, it’s all downhill once the plot revelations start rolling in. Will Smith exudes screen charisma throughout, but it’s nowhere near enough to save the proceedings from Theron’s teary-eyed overacting and a muddled script. Grade D.

Constantine – 2005 (R)

Netflix says: John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is a private investigator who believes in things that go bump in the night -- an unconventional quirk that makes him somewhat of an eccentric personality in a world ruled largely by logic. When a female cop (Rachel Weisz) seeks his counsel after her twin sister dies in what first appears to be a suicide, she wants definitive proof of the cause of death. But the answers might only come with blind faith.

Matt says: I never read the “Hellblazer” comics, but to my understanding they are quite popular. It’s only fitting “Hellblazer” receive the film treatment in a Hollywood that’s run out of originality and comic book adaptations have become the major cash cow. Because of my lack of knowledge, I’m not sure if it’s true to the comic or not. As an outside observer, I do have my own theories. It appears they tried to condense a years worth of plot and back-story into a two hour movie. The result is bloated and moves too quickly, characters are never given time to develop, and the mythology comes on as thick as Thanksgiving gravy… mmmm, Thanksgiving gravy… though I give them props for what they tried to do. Chances are, this was an attempt at a franchise and they wanted to stuff as much as possible into it so it could also stand alone as a one-shot just in case the franchise failed… which it did. I mostly blame the choice to cast Reeves in the titular role. Keanu is at his best when he plays someone thrown into something beyond his control. Look at “Speed”, “Point Break”, “The Matrix”, and hell, even “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”. In each, the audience could empathize with his obliviousness; he is the everyman semi-aware innocent and we as an audience escape vicariously though his discoveries. When he knows too much about the topic at hand, it separates us from the past experiences we had with his previous performances. We expect the confusion, naivety, and “Woahs!” from his half-baked personality and are disappointed when he’s anything else. Everything about this feels “blockbuster”, but due to its faults, it comes off as an over-produced mess. Not to say it wasn’t somewhat entertaining… there are some good effects, the acting is decent, and it’s a nice bit of comic book escapism, but it could’ve been much much better. 2 1/2 stars.

Vanishing Point – 1971 (R)

Netflix says: In this classic among "car chase" movies, notable for its on-location shots filmed in the American Southwest, James Kowalski (Barry Newman) works for a car delivery service and agrees to motor a supercharged 1970 Dodge Challenger from Colorado to San Francisco. For grins and giggles, he bets that he can deposit the car in California in less than 15 hours, setting the stage for an uproarious high-speed adventure.

Marc says: Super cool Barry Newman, spun to the gills on amphetamines, fights The Man by engaging in a lengthy, multi-state car chase with various law enforcement agencies in the Southwest. Why? Because, man! Because, the squares don’t own me, man! True to the time, Vanishing Point contains any number of counter-culture overtones and a dreamlike ambiguity as to most major plot points. It’s a testament to the overall quality of the film that the pacing and tension continues to hold up today, even in spite of its heavily dated sentiments about how we’re taking the power back, man. 4 stars.

Fire Birds – 1990 (PG-13)

Netflix says: The Apaches are an elite flight corps trained by the U.S. Army to attack from the skies. With a national enemy threatening the country with high-tech weaponry, the men who fly the decidedly unfriendly skies risk everything to protect America. But will their efforts be enough the stop the scourge? Directed by David Green, this action-packed adventure stars Nicolas Cage, Tommy Lee Jones and Sean Young.

Marc says: If it was just Top Gun with helicopters, one would be content to write this off as just another Hollywood machine cash-in. However, this film contains one of the most stupendously awful performances that Nicholas Cage has ever seen fit to commit to (or against) film, perhaps just slightly being edged out by Deadfall. Seriously, The Wickerman has nothing on this, with the special highlight being Cage shouting, “I am the greatest!” as he pwns a flight simulator. I’m tempted to classify his performance as a massive troll, given the straight laced, relentlessly pro-military, un-ironic viewpoint perpetrated by the director and the script. On the other hand, Cage could just be crazy and this might just be a massive piece of shit. F+

Kite Liberator – 2008 (NR)

Netflix says: Monaka seems to be an average high school girl. But she has a dark and terrible secret linking her past to a murderous police detective and her future to a fatal duel with the one person she loves most in the world. All the while, the mysterious Angel of Death walks the city streets exacting pain on unsuspecting victims who've asked for it. This anime is the sequel to Yasuomi Umetsu's controversial Kite.

Marc says: Cash-in OVA is only tangentially related to the superb Kite in that it features some sideways references to the first movie. Plot and material wise, though, they have nothing to do with each other. The story in this one goes left-field about 20 minutes in, and never recovers. If you really must know, it concerns an astronaut who mutates into some kind of rampaging (and poorly animated) bone golem. Yep. Although there are vestigial trappings of the avenging female vigilante on which the first Kite was premised, nothing remains of the dark, morally empty, and disturbing psychological and sexual overtones that really set the original apart from the pack. Take that away, and you’re left with a nonsensical plot and pointless fan-service. Grade D for disappointment.

The New Barbarians – 1982 (NR)

Netflix says: It's 2019, and a nuclear holocaust has devastated the world. Soldiers of fortune Nadir (Fred Williamson) and Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete) find themselves in the unenviable position of protecting a wandering caravan of religious nomads from a ruthless biker gang known as the Templars. The duo will do whatever they can to save the innocents in this over-the-top sci-fi adventure directed by Enzo G. Castellari.

Marc says: As the opening credits roll, a model city gets nuked, which then dissolves into a tableau of skeltonized astronauts in space suits scattered around their crashed ship. Some seconds later, a bunch of Mad Max rejects in Stormtrooper armor show up to slaughter a band of survivors still clinging in vain to their Christian god. Although it’s a ripoff of The Road Warrior, through and through, there enough little strange touches in this to make it an enjoyable Grade-Z shitfest. The production design is weird enough, as it squashes together the aesthetic from Barbarella with the post-apocalyptic trappings from the Mad Max series(!) Add in the villains, who are running a homosexual death cult, Fred “The Hammer” Williamson shooting explosive tipped arrows into some fools’ necks just for laughs, and see through bullet-proof body armor, and you may start to get a feel for what this is all about. 3 stars.

The Expendables – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Barney (Sylvester Stallone) leads a ragtag band of hired guns charged with overthrowing a South American despot, a job no official military unit is willing to touch. But once on the ground, the team learns there's more to the mission than they were told. Their next move determines whether they survive -- or are, indeed, expendable. Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren and Jet Li round out a stellar cast.

Matt says: After seeing this I grew another penis. Beer drinking, cigar chomping, tattoo sporting, knife throwing Stallone and his all star cast of guns for hire take on the baddies with much blood splattering, body part flying, gun firing gusto. There something about drugs or the CIA or a dictator or something… but they never really stick to much of a story. It’s impressive that just about every big name action star from the 80s to now has a role in this. Each actor tries to one up each other on the macho bravado and it’s as if testosterone actually seeps from the movie and into your eye sockets. While there is gratuitous violence, there really isn’t anything in the way of plot. It all just seems like an excuse to spout quips and shot guns. Because of that, it is a weaker film than, say, “Rambo” (the forth film being referenced here), and it felt lacking. It all looked like fun to make, and it was fun to watch, even if it was nothing but empty calories… so I guess it was mission accomplished for Stallone. 3 1/2 stars.

The Running Man – 1987 (R)

Netflix says: In a postapocalyptic world, the government frames Ben Richards (Arnold Schwarzenegger) for a bloody massacre. He's given the option of staying in jail for life or participating in a "gladiator"-type game show that usually leads to death. He opts for the show, teaming with other contestants to survive the game and overthrow the corrupt system. This sci-fi thriller costars Richard Dawson in a twisted send-up of his game-show-host persona.

Matt says: Schwarzenegger movies of the 80s were a staple growing up. My friend Bailey and I would have Schwarzenegger video festivals and see every new movie released in the theater. The Running Man came at the peak of his fame: post Raw Deal and pre-Kindergarten Cop… the salad days. In the original Stephen King novel, Ben Richards signs up for The Running Man game show willingly to afford medicine for his ailing daughter. His family gets more money the longer he survives as he is chased by the game show hunters and civilians alike. He can go anywhere in the world to hide and, if he makes it a month, he gets riches beyond his wildest dreams. The movie throws that all out the window and instead makes Richards a police officer who gets sent to hard labor for insubordination in attempting to prevent a civilian massacre. He joins an underground resistance to escape, gets framed for the massacre, is nabbed trying to flee the country, and is thrown on the show at Dawson’s request. Allusions of professional wrestling abound with elaborately themed warriors (not in the novel) who aim to eliminate him. Arnie spouts catchphrases and quips as he violently dispatches his would be killers. Dawson is excellent as the slimy host of the show whose lack of morals is all too present in modern reality television. It’s 80s action movie fun, made better by Schwarzenegger in his prime, Dawson, and the sci-fi elements. All that and Dweezil Zappa? They just don’t make’em like this any more. 4 stars.

Machete – 2010 (R)

Netflix says: Hired to assassinate a politician, vigilante and ex-Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) nearly dies when a sniper shoots him during the job. Out for revenge, he's joined by a reluctant old buddy (Cheech Marin) who's become a pacifist priest. Written and co-directed by Robert Rodriguez, this homage to exploitation films based on his fake trailer in Grindhouse co-stars Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Steven Seagal.

Matt says: Ok, so it’s loaded with stereotypes, ultra violence, and an over-inflated sense of macho bravado… but isn’t that the point? Machete is a fine film, especially if you like Rodriguez and the Grindhouse films. It unfortunately suffers from what most of Rodriguez’s self penned films suffer from; an unnecessarily overly convoluted plot and too many characters for its own good. Rodriguez always seems to start with cool shots in his mind and builds his movies from that. Sure, we want to see Trejo slice a guy’s head in half and leap from flames on a motorcycle with a Gatling gun strapped to the front, but we also don’t want to have a bloated (and heavy handed) story about immigration. We just want the cool shit in our grindhouse flicks. He also mostly ignored Don Johnson and De Niro and instead focused too much on Alba’s character. She’s fine eye candy, but she can’t act worth a crap. All in all, a fun time, with lags, but no different than the 70s flicks that inspired it. 4 stars.

Gotcha! – 1985 (PG-13)

Netflix says: Anthony Edwards stars as likeable campus geek Jonathan, who's a master at the latest puerile college game in which undergraduates stalk and "bump off" their fellow students with paint guns. But his luck changes radically when he jets off to a vacation in Europe and meets an enigmatic Czech siren (Linda Fiorentino) who gets Jonathan entangled in global espionage. Director Jeff Kanew's knockabout comedy costars Alex Rocco and Marla Adams.

Marc says: Good natured spy thriller / comedy is essentially escapist material that sees Anthony Edwards get caught up in some mid-80’s cold war intrigue alongside a hot European femme fatale that he meets in Paris. The spy elements are pretty hard to swallow, especially the portrayal of border security in East Germany, while the comedy elements range from fair to below-average. Still, nothing is taken too seriously, and that generally works to the film’s advantage. Heavily dated of course, but special mention must be given to the inclusion of a paint-ball mock-assassination game that the main character plays on his college campus. In today’s post-VA Tech shooting spree world, the idea that someone could run around a college campus with a paintball gun shooting people without bringing down the National Guard and a full-scale lockdown seems ridiculous. Twenty-five years ago, it was apparently all in good fun. Grade C.